Summer Souls

I have had a lot of ideas lately.. just haven't been able to form them in to complete thoughts for publication.. If you have ideas about what I should be writing about, let me know.. I have a lot of notes...just not enough energy to write them up for real. Maybe I am reaching beyond my ability.. overintellectualizing is a common problem for me.. need to stay grounded in more doing/reality.

Lack of posting is mostly because.. I worked on the fence for most of a week, and then we went for a family vacation to Montreat NC to see friends..

Two recitals coming up next month.. keep me/us in your prayers as I run the emotional gauntlet necessary to prepare for those events..

No surgery needed!!!

...but I do have to wear this sling contraption for the next 3 weeks!! Then I start my Physical Therapy. I guess my ball and socket are lined up ok, so let nature take it's course. Ok enough of that, it's friggin HOT! Not like Cali hot, but like North Carolina hot (or so I would assume) HUMIDITY!! UGH! I have no A/C and my apartment is at least 10 degrees warmer than outside and I have to wear this sling immobilizer WHICH IS MADE OF FOAM!!
I think there is a hex on me, first my shoulder, than my plexiglass side window flew off my car and broke in 3 places, then I was in our field supply room and a flourescent light bulb just blew up right near me. LAWD!! Is Cali calling me home !!?? 'cause I will come back... :-) I'm going to save up $84.00 to buy me an A/C for my place, I'm constantly sticky, never thought I'd miss 114 degrees of DRY heat! Ok typing with one hand is tiring. More later.

I broke myself...

last Friday while on my way to work, my backpack got caught on my screen door and when I went to unhook it, I fell down my stairs, landed on my shoulder pushing the bone into the socket and causing a fracture. I'm now in sling type of contraption, haven't been able to shower for 4 days ugh!! I see a surgeon tomorrow about surgery. I'm hoping I don't need it, but to look at my x-rays, it's nasty. My arm is a pretty purple though.
Ok so my coworkers are trying to come up with a better story for my injury because they said mine is lame!! My boss is trying to come up with something where I'm involved fighting a mountain lion!! The sad thing is, they were my own stairs and I was on my way to work, not very glamorous, so unlike me.
So here are some scenarios, I'll let you know what the surgeon says.

WHAT I POSTED OUTSIDE MY OFFICE DOOR:
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
Boring and unimaginative, so unlike me

I was on my way out to work Friday morning, as I was locking my door, my backpack got stuck on my screen door handle (see Mike Fosha, he has an even better screen door handle story!). My backpack gets stuck on the handle like everyday, so I’m used to it and I normally slowly push back the screen door with my foot, turn around and unhook me. Friday however, I just kicked the door back which jerked me back while I was in the midst of spinning around. I lost my footing and twisted in mid-air, falling down a half a flight of stairs, falling on the landing and impacting my shoulder bone into its socket. I may need surgery and meet with a surgeon on Tuesday. I hope I don’t though.

HOW I WISHED IT HAPPENNED
THANKS to Paula for the idea.

I was in Denver for the Green Day concert and I was in the Mosh Pit when this huge mountain of a man came barreling towards me out of nowhere!! Slamming me in the shoulder up against this huge speaker!! Shoving my shoulder bone right up into my clavicle. As the paramedics were taking me away, I was screaming NOT UNTIL THE CONCERT IS OVER!!! GREEN DAY ROCKS!!!
Well Billie Joe (the lead singer) was so impressed, he invited me to party with the band once I was let out of the ER, even sending me a limo!! So I spent the whole weekend partying with Green Day, until pain and reality hit last night when I got back into town!!


Jane and I are working on something where I fought off a mountain lion… J

JANES STORY:
KOTA Territory
ABC News

24 Hour Online News

LOCAL NEWS HEADLINES

Mountain Lion Attacks Local Man
6/18/2005 Teri Nelson

A mountain lion savagely attacked a local man in Custer State Park Friday morning. L. R. newly returned to South Dakota from California, was enjoying the scenic beauty of the park when he was slammed off his feet by the spring of a large mountain lion. R. reports “The mountain lion had me pinned to the ground and I could smell his stinking, Jack Russell terrier smelling breath in my face. I brought my legs up under me and threw it off me into a tree. I must have shook it up because the next thing I knew it was running up the hill. Then, I realized by shoulder was messed up but I guess I’m lucky to be alive”.

South Dakota Game, Fish and Parks said the attack on R. was a very isolated incident and they do not wish the public to panic. A team of game wardens with a dog pack combed the area but no lion has yet been captured. The public is asked to take precautions, especially with small children and Jack Russell terriers.

R. is recovering from his injuries and may be facing surgery to his damaged shoulder.

Post Hole Pizzazz

Spent the day digging post holes and setting posts... (57 of them) and working outside with 3 of my best friends.. what a phenomenal treat.. True we are all tired.. we had our fill of mishaps.. no deliver from Lowes, to losing lumber on the road... to busting tires on trucks.. to testing our limits.. in lots of ways.. Hard work, but great fun all at the same time. What a sense of accomplishment when you achieve something together.. working as a team with friends.

I bet I am the only technology project manager, opera singer, minister of music around that also now knows how to operate a bobcat.. with both an auger and a front end loader. Probably shocked the neighbors.. they have no idea what to think. But we had a blast..

Made me realize how important my friends are. Not just because of the work.. but because of how much I enjoyed spending time with them.. People really are the most important thing in the world.. all of the rest is mostly a waste of energy..

Love your neighber... Feed my sheep..

Happy Father's day to all you fathers out there.. Special thank you to John, Andy and Joe.. you helped to make my weekend a special one! I everyone had friends like you guys, the world would be a better place all around.

Spectator Religion 2

Clarifying thought...on my previous post.. I think the blame for how we got here is 50/50 on the people and the church leadership.. Church leaders like me.. must stand up and take accountability for not growing.. for allowing "spectator/tv/consumer" congregation members to continue being lukewarm... Our congregations look to us for leadership... Tough love is required.. Just like parenting.. Just like leading project teams.. Just like coaching young singers..

Accountability for what is wrong is a critical first step to fixing anything!

Question for readers? How much time do you think we have to fix this stuff? Can it take years, months, or do we need to act now.. with urgency... This is a fine line...

I am thinking that a plan and progress towards the foundation would suffice for my expectations... Kind of like turning a huge flywheel.. bunch of consistent energy gets it moving until it has its own momentum.. and then it takes very little energy to keep it going.. Disconnected pushes..not coordinated, don't have the power to actually get it going..

Spectator Religion

Like a couple of million other folks, I stood with baited breath awaiting the verdict of the jury in the Michael Jackson case... I know, I know.. I should probably be ashamed of the sensationalism of the event, embarassed at the devastating impact of the accusations on an apparently innocent man... but isn't that what our society today is about... We look for the next big thing.. We want to see the show, to be told the latest "scoop". When the verdict was read yesterday, it was utterly mundane. He didn't do it... according to a trial of his peers, which is our system and the one I have to abide with.. He is innocent..

Funny thing, it doesn't matter what I think in the end.. I am only a spectator. When did spectators suddenly get to vote.. Life is not American Idol.. The masses rarely know what is best...Groupthink doesn't work because the group is too easily led astray. we (the mass media version) live for the scandals, the intrigue, the falls of mankind.. and yes sometimes, when we have some extra time, we listen to stories of heroism and love.. Each time I take that time, I think: "man, we should have more stories like that" but in the end those stories don't sell.. We have become the depraved spectators in the coliseum.. (images from "Gladiator" come to mind). We want to watch the battle, see the failure and heroism.. but we never step into the ring...

Okay, here is the leap.. Christian churches/even entire denominations are largely failing today, because they enable this behavior. We feed the congregational/human tendancy to fight rather than build... judge rather than love, split rather than accept diversity. We, the leaders of the church, allow our congregations to turn into spectators for a show. Helloooooo, that is not what God expects.. he expects us to "actively" love one another.. to model his love and sacrifice to our fellow man.. We must put some "skin in the game".. we have to give sacrificially of ourselves.. take on the risk, be willing to fail, and ultimately have to fall back only on God.

When the chips are down.. action is what matters... We are in a battle in today's world.. for the hearts and souls of millions of people.. for our children, and for our world... The stakes are real. But... we can't win by fighting, we can only win by loving. We the people can't do it.. I, God's humble servant can do it.. We may not be able to feed the world, but I can do something to help the guy in front of me...

We can't win by delegating responsibility and group action to an oligarchy, controlled by a few psycho conservatives... Each of us has a voice, each of us is a unique and special part of God's creation... We have an obligation to get in the game and play, to join a church(even if we disagree with some of how it does business), and we have an obligation to try and make things better through actions... Spectators just watch.. I watched MJ, and OJ simpson, and countless other poor examples...just like many of you. Why, because it is hard to play in the game. It hurts to risk and lose. The refiner's fire is decidedly non-trivial.

Repercussions for speaking out against the establishment, even in a church, are very real. Activists pay the price.. Catalysts for change are not stabilizing elements... their energy is quickly extinguished and likely fail.. They may fail, but God will not... Even if they fail.. at least they tried...Sitting in a pew, or chair on Sunday is not a license to "pass go, and collect heaven"... We are saved because of Christ's sacrifice and God's grace.. but we are called to action...not complacency.

Find your place and plug into the machine.. or invent a new machine.. start a bible study, tell your friends about your beliefs, and even your questions.. Be salt and light to a world that needs it..Just DO SOMETHING for others everyday.

Spectators watch... Players win or lose... Ministry is not a spectator sport. It also doesn't require that you be a professional. God will do the heavy lifting... try it, make yourselve available and you will see. Christianity is not a spectator religion. Trust in the Lord, and get in the game.. You are good enough, you can do it, and like a good friend continually reminds me... Even if/when we mess up... "God can hit a hole in one with a crooked stick" but he can't do it we never swing the club....

James 1:2-8 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Emerging Church?

I wonder if there are any that I would characterize with that title in Richmond VA? I just finished reading some of my favorite ezine.. I highly recommend it..

http://the-next-wave-ezine.info/issue78/index.cfm

My favorite idea... "Churchs in the US = 320,000 McDonalds = 15,000" Which has more influence on the culture today?
Most shocking statement: "in past 25 years..Christian Churchs in the US have spent over a TRILLION dollars on domestic ministry with no appreciable/measurable headway towards "winning more souls to Christ" If the church were publicly traded, the SEC investigations into mismanagement and corruption would dwarf the Enron scandal.."

Listen Up!!! We need to stop focusing on growing the club, and start focusing on loving one another.. God will prepare the way and do the heavy lifting.. if we can get out of our own way long enough to let him. Size and programs don't really matter in the end.. How many people we helped, loved, and shepherded do matter!

Not missing people...

As I was driving to the office this morning.. It suddenly struck me that there are some people no longer in my life that I don't really miss. I know I write about how important it is to love one another, and that everyone is valuable.. That is true...
However....
I don't miss a lot of the people who have "done damage to me and/or my family".
I don't miss people who couldn't find value in my views and positions.
I don't miss people who choose to exclude others based on petty, nothing issues.

Translate that to.. maybe I never liked those people in the first place.

Now what do I do.. ?

Bible tells me to forgive them, and love them... Not just ignore them as I (and most of society) usually do...I can't argue with the idea, but "where the rubber meets the road" there is also a cutoff point... I like the idea of "judging" them and moving on much better.. it is more satisfying.. yet, it ultimately bring focus back around to what "I" want rather than what God wants... me me me me.. vs others others others....

No good answers or concise ideas here today.. just thinking out loud..

Would be nice to hear comments from someone...I wonder if anyone is reading this anymore.. either way, I will keep on keeping on..

Base of Operations - submission

Study and Worship at Huguenot Road Baptist this morning was inspiring..
"It is not about us" Ideas brought out by Bert regarding the differences between submission and subjugation are still stirring in my mind hours later..
The music and worship and study all themed around Hebrews 5

I think that the passage we studied in Hebrews today.. also models a call to action.. Jesus learned like a child through submission and discipline.. but it was also through action.. he did the work.. How often today, we in the church come and study, learn, and self-propagate... I am struck by the image presented to me today of a church which provides a "base of operations"... it cannot be an end unto itself, but instead is a base which will size and outfit itself according to actions necessary outside of the walls.. preparation, education, worship... renewal, refitting, repair are all important but the mission is outside the walls, not within...


Heb. 5:5-10 So Christ also did not take upon himself the glory of becoming a high priest. But God said to him, “You are my Son; today I have become your Father.” And he says in another place, “You are a priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.”
During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he sufferedand, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.

Cowardice=Fear/Heroism=Faith

the line between cowardice and heroism is small yet so clear. One cares ultimately about SELF.. the other cares ultimately about OTHERS. A lot of people walk around pretending to be "team players, champions of the team, leaders" when in reality, they are all show and no substance. Their personality disorders keep them from actually helping anyone but themselves. When the chips are down...Actions will tell the tale. Look at what people did/do, not what they say...

If their intentions are heroic.. then they will use their skills, often putting themselves at risk, but in the end.. they are helping others.. If on the other hand, they are cowards, they will use their skills and talents to appear to lead, to put up a good show, and to hide from the conflicts that arise in every day life.

Conflict is best seen as an opportunity. True, it is a result of the failure of "diplomacy" but it is also a unique opportunity to start fresh. A binary view on a multiple variable equation... One wins the other loses... In Star Wars.. the Jedi intended to "win" so that they could give up power to the people.. that intention is the key... The new beginning can only occur if and only if.. both parties can move.. The winner must ultimately give way, and the loser must put aside a willingness to win or exact retribution.

Important verses to think on this..
Matt. 20:16 “So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

Matt. 6:12-15 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

NOW.. what do I do with all that... ??????
I am trying to move on these days...living in the grey area between heroism and cowardice like everyone around me... hopefully I spend most of my time on the hero side... I think we all need to move on.. whatever happened yesterday, last week, last month, even last year. is irrelevant. How we use those experiences linked with our faith is the key to our future. .

We can and must choose our path. Seeking heroism, acting to help others.. and rejecting cowardice in our selves and others.

Micah. 6:8-16 He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Listen! The LORD is calling to the city — and to fear your name is wisdom — “Heed the rod and the One who appointed it. Am I still to forget, O wicked house, your ill-gotten treasures and the short ephah, which is accursed? Shall I acquit a man with dishonest scales, with a bag of false weights? Her rich men are violent; her people are liars and their tongues speak deceitfully. Therefore, I have begun to destroy you, to ruin you because of your sins. You will eat but not be satisfied; your stomach will still be empty. You will store up but save nothing, because what you save I will give to the sword. You will plant but not harvest; you will press olives but not use the oil on yourselves, you will crush grapes but not drink the wine. You have observed the statutes of Omri and all the practices of Ahab’s house, and you have followed their traditions. Therefore I will give you over to ruin and your people to derision; you will bear the scorn of the nations.”

Sith or Jedi

I think I may be obsessed with this idea of Star Wars and other movies attempting to function in a theological role. I wonder if this is new.. or if the arts have always played in this space. I think the answer is likely that the arts have always been the platform for spiritual and theological expression. The advent of mass media and the modern movie and music industry has just changed the audience to include most of the world.. at a single shot.. Mass Media is truly amazing..

Are you a Sith or a Jedi? I want to be a Jedi.. but I think in reality I am a Sith. I fall short of the pure, motives, focus and intensity of the Jedi.. They are the ultimate preacher.. they get to be "right" while at the same time, they have those cool swords and all of the powers.. They and they alone get to decide when and how to apply their "power"... they are judge and jury all combined.. they are even the police force.. Just think.. One guy gets to be the Law and the Order. (I like Law and Order too...like the majority of the US population) Darth Vader seems to have more one on one power, but we all know that ultimately he has to lose.. Good always defeats evil.. Freedom trumps tyranny... but what is the cost..

By fighting.. are we making things better or worse.. Are we seeking to be "right" or just to be in power, because clearly we must know best.. ;) I am not a pacifist, but I understand the cost to fighting.. There are consequences.. Maybe the quakers were on to something here..

In today's version of America.. Have we become the Empire? Are we acting out of pure intentions, or out of a desire to remain in power? Think on that one for awhile... maybe Han Solo wasn't so crazy to be out there alone... the entire system of his universe was messed up.. literally... he rejected the empire, the jedi, and the rebellion...

I think I can identify best with Darth Vader, I am most like him... maybe we all are... but at least I know that there is a path to redemption through God's grace and love. In spite of my inability to "achieve the rank of master jedi" I am still valuable to God. All of us are valuable. The movie paints the extreme consequences of his decisions and actions... I often try to deny those realities..

Darth Vader was made up.. Jesus was not... Cruxifixion occurred by real people. Betrayal occurred then just like it occurs today.. every day...

For sure we aren't Jesus... but a better question...

Are you a face in the crowd simply following others in power.. no courage to act?
Are you a disciple?
Are you Judas?
Are you one of the Pharisees?

I would LOVE to hear thoughts on this...

Split Pea Soup...

...I made it. It was good. When I lived in Germany my ex's mother made this soup and I'm told it was split pea (because it was green, but surely there has to be other green soups). In any case, it was delicious! I think it had ham in it and you added this liquid they called liquid smoke and it was just the best. Along with the soup she made this salad but I don't remember how it was made. It had dark green leaves and diced onions and sugar, yes sugar but it was delicious. Okay maybe I do how it was made, but I feel like I'm missing an ingredient. Through out the years I've often wondered if I could replicate that soup and salad. Well...I can't. Although my soup was good, no one told me split peas made you gassy, really gassy!!
I fell asleep on the night I made it and my mom called to wake me up and let me know my sister had made it to her hotel room in Reno on her trip back from S.D. and it was almost 2 a.m. and I was ravenous!! I was like, oh yeah I have that soup I made still on the stove. I ate three bowls. A handful of Jalapeno pringles and a slice of cheese. My stomach bloated up instantaneously!! I freaked out. I mean, I looked like I had swallowed a basketball..or two. It tasted so good though. When I woke up the next morning, while I won't go into details, I will say the pea soup was leaving my body in a rather fast way. I smelled like peas. It was like coming out of my skin! I burped peas, farted peas! The smell was nasty, it smelled like cut grass!! I was so self conscious, I didn't want anyone around me in case they found out I had pigged out on split pea soup, I'm sure they could tell. How could you not? I smelled like an alfalfa field!! I washed and washed my hands but they still smelled like peas, it was infuriating and frustrating. Then the stomach cramps started, oh lawd, how they started. The thought of eating split pea soup made me gag. How could something so good make me feel so bloated and uncomfortable?? Did I miss something, did I forget an ingredient? Too much garlic? Was the smoked bacon bad? What??!! Was it because I ate at two in the morning and ate like my fluffy friends at a buffet?? what??
In any case, it's been two days and I can only faintly smell peas now and the burping has subsided but that was a rough two days.
My next project is going to be fried rice, my ASIAN (she hates when I refer to her like that, I do it because of that:) friend gave me the recipe but you know what? There is no frying involved. For years we have been misled that fried rice...well...is fried. It's not...oh well...I just hope it doesn't make me bloat for two days! :-)