The Gay Guru is thinking blogger friends can do a Secret Santa for x-mas....I'm all for it!!
;-) peace
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Sometimes I'm to real...
...like this Sat. nite conversation...my bad??
Saturday Night Conversation
Aim : I feel so much on my shoulders right now - possibly not having a job, bills, men, feeling of no direction
Leonard : that's called life sweetie. Job, if you lose it, you find another one and no bitching about a paycut, just be lucky you can find one. Bills, you will have them the rest of your life...it's the American way, especially if you keep buying yourself "i'm losing my job so I need..." clothing. Boys suck, throw rocks at them. No direction, in time you'll find what it is your supposed to be or do just go with the flow.
Aim : I hate it when you dont show up for my pity party
Leonard : please, wait until you catch your first cold of the season...
Aim : eww - that's not even close to being true
Leonard : sorry, I'm looking at famous nude celebrities right now...I have my priorities.
Saturday Night Conversation
Aim : I feel so much on my shoulders right now - possibly not having a job, bills, men, feeling of no direction
Leonard : that's called life sweetie. Job, if you lose it, you find another one and no bitching about a paycut, just be lucky you can find one. Bills, you will have them the rest of your life...it's the American way, especially if you keep buying yourself "i'm losing my job so I need..." clothing. Boys suck, throw rocks at them. No direction, in time you'll find what it is your supposed to be or do just go with the flow.
Aim : I hate it when you dont show up for my pity party
Leonard : please, wait until you catch your first cold of the season...
Aim : eww - that's not even close to being true
Leonard : sorry, I'm looking at famous nude celebrities right now...I have my priorities.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Making of Dieux Du Stade 2007
Finally the "Making of" video has been posted!! They show even more gorgeous rugby playing skin. ;-) peace
Friday, November 24, 2006
Testing...(Noah)
All right, I am trying to post an image, which I don't know how to do because I am lame. I did this for a zine that my friend Paul Nudd put together. So let's see if this works:
Hey, how 'bout that? Soon the world...will be mine! Ha ha ha!
Hey, how 'bout that? Soon the world...will be mine! Ha ha ha!
T-giving in my underwear
I ate T-giving dinner in my underwear. No, seriously, I did. I’m down in the Tampa/St. Pete, FL area right now. I checked the weather channel. I knew what to pack, and I packed just fine: jeans, flip flops, short sleeve shirts. But I didn’t pack shorts. It was supposed to be low of 50s, high of 70s. And it was. What I didn’t count on was how hot an oven can make a house.
Like blazing hot kind of hot. We had all the windows and doors open and fans on. It didn’t matter. Hot, hot, hot.
So…I ended up putting boxers on and eating T-giving dinner in blue, dalmation undies.
Gobble-gobble!
Like blazing hot kind of hot. We had all the windows and doors open and fans on. It didn’t matter. Hot, hot, hot.
So…I ended up putting boxers on and eating T-giving dinner in blue, dalmation undies.
Gobble-gobble!
Mysteries for the Young at Heart: An Interview with Brenda Chapman
Growing up, I loved books. I found myself drawn to strong characters around my own age, and I adored anything that captivated me and gave me the chance to solve a new mystery…other than what was under my bed. I recently discovered a new author who took me happily back to my youth. In a society filled with anger and rage, this fresh voice offers an alternative for young readers by giving them stories filled with danger, intrigue and a lot of fun.
Brenda Chapman has written a series of books that will give young teens a fresh new set of adventures to embark upon. Her first book, Running Scared, featuring young heroine Jennifer Bannon, was published in 2004, and the second, Hiding in Hawk’s Creek was published in 2006, both by Napoleon Publishing in Toronto. I was pleased to interview this delightfully talented author and to be able to share this new treasure with all of you.
KS: Brenda, you grew up in Terrace Bay, a small mill town in Northwestern Ontario. I once wondered if foreigners, including Canadians, were influenced by the same authors as us Americans. Who would you say were the three most influential voices in fiction for you?
BC: When I was growing up, the Canadian curriculum certainly drew from American authors. I remember reading Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Telltale Heart” and Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter in high school and both have stayed with me. I also studied American Literature in university, in addition to Canadian and British. My favorite American books include Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird, J. D. Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye, and Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises and The Old Man and the Sea. I particularly like Hemingway’s sparse use of language and his imagery. I’ve also read widely in the American mystery genre, including all the books in the series by Elizabeth George and Sue Grafton.
KS: Nancy Drew comes up more often than not when talking to women and girls. Why do you think Nancy has become such a significant role model?
BC: Nancy Drew is a heroine who uncovers puzzles and injustices and who sorts them out, always with a satisfactory ending. While the puzzle draws readers in, she is a character that young girls (the intended audience at the time) can identify with, or at the very least, someone they would like to have as a friend. The books are simplistic on an emotional level, but good, escapist reading.
KS: You've created an incredible character in Jennifer Bannon. Is there any part of you in this character? Did you derive any of the familial bonds from growing up with siblings? Was your vivid imagination an escape from the "middle child syndrome"?
BC: Jennifer Bannon has my sense of humor, my love of sports and my aversion to confrontation. She has a strong soul but isn't confident–an odd juxtaposition, but one I admit to sharing. Jennifer also has a close relationship with her sister Leslie not unlike the relationships I had with my sister and brother growing up. I was a middle child and perhaps that helps me to understand both the older and younger sibling roles in my stories. My two daughters have also been a great resource for me in creating Jennifer and Leslie. As for my vivid imagination, I’m not sure where it came from, but it's always been with me. I’m still something of a daydreamer and writing gives me a good outlet.
KS: Growing up in a small community with few of the perks kids have today–computers, video games, etc. – what made you decide to write mysteries instead of the typical high tech adventure kids seem to crave?
BC: I like to write about characters and relationships, issues that we're all dealing with at all stages in our lives. I do not believe these themes ever go out of style. The outward trappings may change, but kids will always want to read about peers grappling with the same problems they're facing. When I read to groups of kids about Jennifer’s parents separating, I wonder how many of them are dealing with the same sadness. I also want to show kids that people are not all on the surface – what we see is never the whole story. I use the mystery genre to hook kids into a good, suspenseful story while weaving in characters they can relate to, empathize with, and perhaps, learn from.
KS: I can only speak from the American side of things, but most people I know don't think of Canada as foreign, but there is a definite distinction. I know you write for your market, but have you had to make any adjustments to suit the American market?
BC: We’re always told that to sell to the American audience, Canadian authors have to use an American setting. As a reader, I enjoy stories set in other countries, be they the United States, China, France or wherever; I cannot imagine that American readers are any different. My books are for sale in many countries, and my publisher has not asked me to tailor my writing in any way to suit other cultures. I am currently working on a story set mainly in Minnesota, and my agent suggested that I use American spelling, but that’s simply a grammatical change that does not affect the story.
KS: What do you hope readers will gain from the stories you tell from Jennifer's point of view?
BC: I hope young readers will gain insights into Jennifer’s thought processes and see that while she reacts one way, she may be thinking or feeling something completely different. For instance, Jennifer hides how desperately she wants her parents to get back together, even while pretending that she accepts her mother’s new boyfriend. I’d like kids to know that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about people and situations. I’d also like to have them share in Jennifer’s curiosity, her compassion and her ability to see humor in life.
KS: In a world filled with Rowling fans who clamor for their imaginations to be stretched beyond belief, how do you think your writing will affect readers as a whole being more of a realistic tone?
BC: I believe there is room for the fantastical world of J.K. Rowling and the more realistic, mysterious world of Jennifer Bannon. Both series offer escapist reading with characters that age and develop, although Jennifer Bannon is more likely to be the friend they have at school. Having taught reading for a number of years, I am thrilled when kids discover an author they like and thrilled that they are reading from a wide variety of offerings.
KS: What is your personal favorite type of fiction? Do you find inspiration in the stories you read?
BC: I have always been drawn to suspense, a good storyline and vivid characters, everything the mystery genre offers. I tend to read mysteries for relaxation, but I also enjoy poetry and have a well thumbed copy of T. S. Eliot poems that I pull out every so often.
KS: What can readers/fans expect from your future stories? Do you have any plans to allow Jennifer to grow or do see a limit for the series?
BC: The third Jennifer Bannon book entitled Where Trouble Leads will be released by Napoleon Publishing in spring 2007, and I have just submitted the fourth manuscript. Jennifer is thirteen in Running Scared, fourteen in Hiding in Hawk’s Creek and fifteen in the last two books. I currently have no plans for a fifth book but might at some point in the future.
KS: What would you say to young readers and writers?
BC: Read widely. Learn new vocabulary and embrace ideas. I would also advise young writers to learn grammar because it is the tool writers need to construct stories, just as carpenters need tools to build houses. Finally, I would say to write about your own experiences and to find your own voice – the best stories are those that make a reader feel or think about something that matters personally or globally.
RUNNING SCARED by Brenda Chapman
Review by Karen Syed
Jennifer Bannon is thirteen years old and she's beginning to wonder if she will make it to fourteen. Things are weird at school, her best friend is acting strangely, and she isn't sure what’s going to happen now that her dad is back in town. But none of that means anything when Jennifer watches a neighbourhood women run down by a familiar car that speeds away into the night.
Scared what might happen to her, Jennifer tucks the secret deep inside while she tries to figure out what to do next. Then, things get really tricky when Jennifer receives warnings to keep quiet and she starts feeling that she is being followed. Reluctantly, she decides that she has to discover who was driving the car, but before she can uncover the truth, Jennifer's little sister goes missing and Jennifer fears the worst. Will she find her sister unhurt, or will she become the next victim of a mystery attacker?
Brenda Chapman is an excellent storyteller with a style that will appeal to readers of all ages. Her characters are likable and realistic. RUNNING SCARED is full of adventure and thrills – a good solid mystery that will have readers turning pages until the very end. This one should be in every kid's backpack for a fun read.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
This is a recent sketchbook drawing done after a strange night performing with: http://www.levenshulmebicycleorchestra.com/index.html Beware the skulls that glow bright green!
Alright, here's my bit. I'm Aeron Alfrey, I make comics, paintings, drawings and digital collages. I went to the Herron School of Art in Indianapolis until the end of my junior year. I focused on painting, art history and print making. I had a serious problem with the art school scene as I despise a lot of the non figurative abstract (drip painting) junk that is so highly regarded there. But I do miss having a giant painting studio where you're surrounded by dozens of unique artist spaces and all the weird sketches and paintings everyone would have scattered in their work zones.
As of now I'm working on a book titled "Hob Bob" which is going to be between 600 - 1,000 pages. The story concerns a magician named "Hob" who is framed for murder by his evil twin magician/wizard brother "Zob Bob" who has him executed in order to steal a strange collection of eggs that he transforms into a horde of monsters to destroy the world. Hob is decapitated and his body escapes into the wilderness. The book revolves around the weird adventures Hob's decapitated body, his head and Zob Bob get into. While I'm keeping the story simple and without words, it's more an excuse to show off an incredibly detailed fantasy world and all the strange inhabitants that exist in it. This sketch shows Hob's headless body wandering over a rock formation as a tribe of creatures that resemble giant paint brushes pass along the ground below.
I have another book project titled "The Land Of The Moth" which is entirely made of digital collages. Some of the heavier influences are Joel Peter Witkin's photography, the writings of Lewis Carrol and the digital works of Alessandro Bavari. It's to be a sort of dark fairy tale for adults made up of large black and white digital illustrations. It's a fantasy world focused on death/horror and the fantastic. You can see some older examples here.
Those are my two favorite projects that mean the most to me. Beyond those I have dozens of other smaller projects. I'm doing a book of 1,000 monsters that has been really fun. I've got some drawing and painting series that I'm planning out. One series will be the architectural insides of surreal haunted houses. I did drawings like this as a child, none of which I still have. As an example of my obsession with the strange and monstrous, click here here and here to see drawings I made somewhere around the age of 7 or 8.
Anyway, I love horror films. I've watched Return Of The Living Dead at least 50 times. I have somewhere around 1,200 horror films either on dvd, tape or downloaded copies of. Check out Tracker 3, really good collection of weird movies for download on there.
Fiend Wihout A Face is but one of the awesome movies on there. I'm a huge fan of unusual animation. Fantastic Planet is one of my favorite films. I love about anything that's stop motion. I dig videogames but have a difficult time staying focused on them. I think that "Shadow Of The Colossus"is the greatest work of art of the last year. I have a weird approach to games, as an example I recently picked up a two dollar trial for World of Warcraft just so that I can roam around the weird dungeons to take screenshots for reference material in my comics.
I love fantastic art but regret that certain types of artists that consider themselves "visionary" have polluted the scene. Photoshop filters that discolor your hair doesn't make your work "fantastic"!! I love fantasy art but hate the way it's infected with thousands of horrible artists obsessed with painting lord of the rings fan art, generic unicorns and dragons. I try to extract some of the best art of the fantastic and creature ridden in my art blog "Monster Brains".
As far as music, I listen to thousands of bands. I'm mostly into electronic, indie rock, 80's and soundtracks. I'm a big fan of Sigur Ros, The Knife, Broadcast, The Flaming Lips, Boards of Canada, Wendy Carlos, David Bowie, Electric Light Orchestra.
Check this track out by Joakim, good example of what I like in music, electronics and rock.
That's about it from me, here's a pic of my intoxicated mug. I'm the dude in the middle sportin the "city of lost children" tshirt.
As of now I'm working on a book titled "Hob Bob" which is going to be between 600 - 1,000 pages. The story concerns a magician named "Hob" who is framed for murder by his evil twin magician/wizard brother "Zob Bob" who has him executed in order to steal a strange collection of eggs that he transforms into a horde of monsters to destroy the world. Hob is decapitated and his body escapes into the wilderness. The book revolves around the weird adventures Hob's decapitated body, his head and Zob Bob get into. While I'm keeping the story simple and without words, it's more an excuse to show off an incredibly detailed fantasy world and all the strange inhabitants that exist in it. This sketch shows Hob's headless body wandering over a rock formation as a tribe of creatures that resemble giant paint brushes pass along the ground below.
I have another book project titled "The Land Of The Moth" which is entirely made of digital collages. Some of the heavier influences are Joel Peter Witkin's photography, the writings of Lewis Carrol and the digital works of Alessandro Bavari. It's to be a sort of dark fairy tale for adults made up of large black and white digital illustrations. It's a fantasy world focused on death/horror and the fantastic. You can see some older examples here.
Those are my two favorite projects that mean the most to me. Beyond those I have dozens of other smaller projects. I'm doing a book of 1,000 monsters that has been really fun. I've got some drawing and painting series that I'm planning out. One series will be the architectural insides of surreal haunted houses. I did drawings like this as a child, none of which I still have. As an example of my obsession with the strange and monstrous, click here here and here to see drawings I made somewhere around the age of 7 or 8.
Anyway, I love horror films. I've watched Return Of The Living Dead at least 50 times. I have somewhere around 1,200 horror films either on dvd, tape or downloaded copies of. Check out Tracker 3, really good collection of weird movies for download on there.
Fiend Wihout A Face is but one of the awesome movies on there. I'm a huge fan of unusual animation. Fantastic Planet is one of my favorite films. I love about anything that's stop motion. I dig videogames but have a difficult time staying focused on them. I think that "Shadow Of The Colossus"is the greatest work of art of the last year. I have a weird approach to games, as an example I recently picked up a two dollar trial for World of Warcraft just so that I can roam around the weird dungeons to take screenshots for reference material in my comics.
I love fantastic art but regret that certain types of artists that consider themselves "visionary" have polluted the scene. Photoshop filters that discolor your hair doesn't make your work "fantastic"!! I love fantasy art but hate the way it's infected with thousands of horrible artists obsessed with painting lord of the rings fan art, generic unicorns and dragons. I try to extract some of the best art of the fantastic and creature ridden in my art blog "Monster Brains".
As far as music, I listen to thousands of bands. I'm mostly into electronic, indie rock, 80's and soundtracks. I'm a big fan of Sigur Ros, The Knife, Broadcast, The Flaming Lips, Boards of Canada, Wendy Carlos, David Bowie, Electric Light Orchestra.
Check this track out by Joakim, good example of what I like in music, electronics and rock.
That's about it from me, here's a pic of my intoxicated mug. I'm the dude in the middle sportin the "city of lost children" tshirt.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Happy T Day~!
My bro is down from Oregon and my other bro will be at my moms. Not sure about my cracked out sister, but I hope she is well and yes, I will at least call and wish her a Happy Thanksgiving. I get to see my babies tomorrow (Raymond and Lakota, nephew and niece) so I'm excited about that. I beat people down tonight to get a copy of CARS so we can watch it together, hey, ya do wacha gotta! ;-) hope everyone has a great Holiday however you spend it. Eat lots, we have a good excuse to stuff ourselves for the next few weeks. ;-) peace
p.s. and because it's a Holiday...you KNOW who you get today. :-)
Happy Thanksgiving Joseph Sayers!
p.s. and because it's a Holiday...you KNOW who you get today. :-)
Happy Thanksgiving Joseph Sayers!
Bio-Graphism---- LP
Following Noahs' lead, I thought I'd provide an introduction of sorts.
I am the one who cobbled all of us together, so some of this may be redundant. However, I know some of you more than others.
- My last name is spelled PRZYBYLSKI. It is pronounced SHA-Bil-Ski, believe it or not. It's a common name among American Poles, specifically in the Milwuakee, where my parents grew up.
- I've been interested in comics and art for forever. I decided long ago that I'd dedicate myself to being a part of that world in some form. Though I do draw and make comics, I'm not sure that's what I'll end up doing- I am not as good at it as I should be ( or anyone should be if they want to be published in some form) . I have an interest in writing fiction, screenplays, criticism and all that.
As you can glean, the whole comics/art thing is a constant source of confusion for me. I tend to change directions mid-stream; One day I'll decide I should dedicate myself to a realistic, classic drawing style and the next I've vowed never to make a representational drawing again. I envy those who seem to have a "natural", or unquestioned direction in art and comics.
I've been published in ONE fanzine.
I've made my own zines twice now, but only made a few copies. Most have been destroyed.
-this is one my best drawings, in my opinion.
-I'm 28 and just last week discovered the first grey hair on my head.
-I've lived with the same girlfriend for 5 years now, mostly in Mineapolis/St. Paul, save a year in Chicago, where I came very close to attempting to burn the entire city down.
-I'm an unrepentant fan of METAL; Death Metal, Black Metal, Classic, thrash, etc.Have been since I was 12. My favorite Metal band of all time is The Mighty VOIVOD.
- I took a few college classes, but found the whole thing stifling. I have a deep-seated distrust for academics and whatever institution I've ever known.
-As such, I've worked a series of shitty jobs for my entire adult life. Mostly cooking in restaraunts. I spent some time in a great comics shop in MInneapolis and worked at the Art Institute of Chicago for a few months, where I decided Post-Modernism and the vast majority of Modern Art are complete scams and have nothing on pretty much everything pre-modern.
-Me hating modernism on paper..
- I used to tour with a friends' band. I was the 'merch' guy. It was fun, but I never have to go to another indie-rock show for the rest of my life.
-I'm interested in drawing phantastic material, but have very catholic tastes in what I read, watch and listen to.
-I'm a huge fan of Kenneth Smith. and spend a great deal of on-line time participating in his email-network.
- My favorite film is Mike Lieghs' NAKED. That and A CLOCKWORK ORANGE.
-I'm a huge fan of Alex Jones and his Prison Planet sites. I'm planning on doing a series of posts that are related to what is called "conspiracy" subjects.
That's that.
Oh, and please, don't make me look like an ass by not doing something similar yourselves..
I am the one who cobbled all of us together, so some of this may be redundant. However, I know some of you more than others.
- My last name is spelled PRZYBYLSKI. It is pronounced SHA-Bil-Ski, believe it or not. It's a common name among American Poles, specifically in the Milwuakee, where my parents grew up.
- I've been interested in comics and art for forever. I decided long ago that I'd dedicate myself to being a part of that world in some form. Though I do draw and make comics, I'm not sure that's what I'll end up doing- I am not as good at it as I should be ( or anyone should be if they want to be published in some form) . I have an interest in writing fiction, screenplays, criticism and all that.
As you can glean, the whole comics/art thing is a constant source of confusion for me. I tend to change directions mid-stream; One day I'll decide I should dedicate myself to a realistic, classic drawing style and the next I've vowed never to make a representational drawing again. I envy those who seem to have a "natural", or unquestioned direction in art and comics.
I've been published in ONE fanzine.
I've made my own zines twice now, but only made a few copies. Most have been destroyed.
-this is one my best drawings, in my opinion.
-I'm 28 and just last week discovered the first grey hair on my head.
-I've lived with the same girlfriend for 5 years now, mostly in Mineapolis/St. Paul, save a year in Chicago, where I came very close to attempting to burn the entire city down.
-I'm an unrepentant fan of METAL; Death Metal, Black Metal, Classic, thrash, etc.Have been since I was 12. My favorite Metal band of all time is The Mighty VOIVOD.
- I took a few college classes, but found the whole thing stifling. I have a deep-seated distrust for academics and whatever institution I've ever known.
-As such, I've worked a series of shitty jobs for my entire adult life. Mostly cooking in restaraunts. I spent some time in a great comics shop in MInneapolis and worked at the Art Institute of Chicago for a few months, where I decided Post-Modernism and the vast majority of Modern Art are complete scams and have nothing on pretty much everything pre-modern.
-Me hating modernism on paper..
- I used to tour with a friends' band. I was the 'merch' guy. It was fun, but I never have to go to another indie-rock show for the rest of my life.
-I'm interested in drawing phantastic material, but have very catholic tastes in what I read, watch and listen to.
-I'm a huge fan of Kenneth Smith. and spend a great deal of on-line time participating in his email-network.
- My favorite film is Mike Lieghs' NAKED. That and A CLOCKWORK ORANGE.
-I'm a huge fan of Alex Jones and his Prison Planet sites. I'm planning on doing a series of posts that are related to what is called "conspiracy" subjects.
That's that.
Oh, and please, don't make me look like an ass by not doing something similar yourselves..
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Secret Origins...Revealed!
Hey all. I thought I'd introduce myself, since the only person on the blog I've really interacted with is Luke....
Anyway, my name's Noah Berlatsky. I live in Chicago, and have done some freelance writing (mostly reviews) for the Chicago Reader, the Comics Journal, and a couple other places. Writing for the Comics Journal is how I (virtually) met Luke. He hated a couple of my pieces, so we got to insult each other on the message board for a bit. And the rest is history.
I've self-published a bunch of very, very small circulation zines, and I write poetry and fiction, mostly to amuse myself, though occasionally the good folks at Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) print something. In the last couple of years I've been doing some drawing, most recently for the Flaming Fire Illustrated Bible Project, which you probably all know about, but should check out if you don't.
And...I work part-time at a correspondence high-school writing textbooks and exams and stuff like that; the rest of the time I watch my son, Siah, who's three. A lot of my zine and comics projects have been done with my pal, Bert Stabler, who's a kick-ass artist, and also writes criticism for the reader. My initial plan for the blog is to try to post a series of about 110 abstract drawings I did based on every page of the Deities and Demigods AD&D tome...though that may be overly ambitious, especially given the lameness of my HTML skills. Anyway, we'll see....and I think that's about it for me. I'd be curious to know anything at all about the rest of you folks, though; it'd be nice to put some sort of personal details to the posts....
Anyway, my name's Noah Berlatsky. I live in Chicago, and have done some freelance writing (mostly reviews) for the Chicago Reader, the Comics Journal, and a couple other places. Writing for the Comics Journal is how I (virtually) met Luke. He hated a couple of my pieces, so we got to insult each other on the message board for a bit. And the rest is history.
I've self-published a bunch of very, very small circulation zines, and I write poetry and fiction, mostly to amuse myself, though occasionally the good folks at Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) print something. In the last couple of years I've been doing some drawing, most recently for the Flaming Fire Illustrated Bible Project, which you probably all know about, but should check out if you don't.
And...I work part-time at a correspondence high-school writing textbooks and exams and stuff like that; the rest of the time I watch my son, Siah, who's three. A lot of my zine and comics projects have been done with my pal, Bert Stabler, who's a kick-ass artist, and also writes criticism for the reader. My initial plan for the blog is to try to post a series of about 110 abstract drawings I did based on every page of the Deities and Demigods AD&D tome...though that may be overly ambitious, especially given the lameness of my HTML skills. Anyway, we'll see....and I think that's about it for me. I'd be curious to know anything at all about the rest of you folks, though; it'd be nice to put some sort of personal details to the posts....
Monday, November 20, 2006
A Young Nihilist Speaks , by L.P
A few years ago I discovered ( via the TCJ board, I think) a young cartoonists’ work that was notable in a couple of ways; it was well drawn for a ‘newbie’ and there was lots of it-Over 100 pages, if I remember correctly, all posted on his very amatuer-looking website. In other ways it was sort of typical of a young , rebelious cartoonist; a social and sexual misfit discovers in comics a way to directly translate such frustrations in comic form.It was juvenille, but in the best sense of the word; unadulterated, unmitigated expression.
It was also notable for its out-and-out aping of the work of Erotic-Grotesque Manga master Sehuro Maruo, who’s mined themes that ( as you’ll read) the young cartoonist could relate to, and also saw a nail-on-the-head synchronicity in terms of the young artists’ style/craft aspirations.
At the time -maybe two years ago- I was planning on putting together a small press comics anthology . This anthology was to be a celebration of an overtly ‘underground’ sensibility that I thought woefully under-represented in the contemporary small press.
I meant to tap into the same vien that the original UG cartoonists tapped into; your S. Clay Wilsons and Rory Hayes, even you’re early Richard Corbens ( this wasn’ about “art”, it was about underground comics). Sex, violence, alienation, fantasy ( in the best sense of the word..). It seemed “Alternative”, or “Independent” were obsolte descriptors in comics- they’d been replaced by “Literary”, or “Art”. It may have been some kind of juvenille reaction on my part, but I wanted to kick this new paradigm in its hairless, shriveled, collegiate ballsack. Needless to say, this kid fit the bill; he came from out of nowhere with a big pile of finished underground horror comics.
As I was “editing” ( more like soliciting) content for the anthology, I was working on putting together material for a blog I set to launch concurrent with the publication of the anthology. Interviewing ( who we’ll call "Joel C.") seemed like a great idea.; solid content that potential fans might enjoy. I saw Joels’ comics as a centerpiece of the new anthology.The cynic in me saw a great “branding” opportunity. The idealist saw it as raising a defiant flag of sorts. This would be a glimpse into the suburban basement where I saw a lot of the artists I liked sweating over messy scraps of Bristol, all tapped into the same vein.
I asked if I could publsih a strip of his, and he agreed. I asked if I could inerview him, and he agreed. There’s no telling how it might’ve turned out had we spoken in person, over the phone, but, broke as I was ( am) , I couldn’t afford a long distance call. we settled on emailing. We did try to do it in real time, however.
What follows is a barely edited transcript of our email interview.It isn't "finished" as such. Any out-of-place responses should be chalked up to the vagaries of emailing.
Luke:
“…I need a short amount of biographical data from you- This
is the stuff that I'll build the introduction of the interview from. I
may or may not copy it as-is. In other words, if you could tell me a
little bit about yourself: age, location, all that, it would be good.
I'd also like to know how long you've been drawing comics . I'll be
back from work way late tonight, so the rest will have to go down
another time ( tomorrow?). But, a short bio is a good place to start.”
Joel:
“bio: I am 22 years of age. I live in honolulu, hawaii. I began
drawing comics at the age of five, but they weren't really anything
substantial until the age of 19, where I finally stopped drawing
anime.
Subsequently I have destroyed all previous comics except for one,
which was inspired by drugs. It wasn't anything special, but there
was a certain horrific aspect in that comic which I wanted to recreate
with more intensity. At that point I knew what I wanted to do, and I
also knew it would take a lot of practice.”
Luke:
“Joel- You mentioned a "certain horrific aspect"- Is the Horror genre
something you've dedicated yourself to? If so, why?”
Joel :
“As a very young child, violence and bondage exhilarated me. At the
age of six, the dissection of a large, restrained beetle in a
scientific documentary gave me an erection. Subsequently I was
aroused upon seeing other situations of restraint, such as a drawing
of a female cartoon character wearing a chain and collar, trapping my
cat under a laundry basket, or something comic book dorks might be
more familiar with: Princess leia.
Years have progressed and I have long ago come to the realization that
it's idiotic to dedicate one's life to gratifying one's own sexual
urges in artwork. Which may seem hypocritical since I love depicting
sexual violence in my art. This is because I hope not just to get
myself off, but also study just what it is about violence that
fascinates me. I want my artwork to be highly sexual, but relevant to
things beyond sex. I think the horror genre has pioneered this aspect
to the most serious degree.
I believe that making sex into something trivial and of no importance
might be achieved by overloading my work with it-- desensitization.
What I see in mainstream forms of art today is the looming issue of
sex which dominates the actions of artists in the background, unseen.
I want to bring sex into the open, demystify it, and make it into
something silly.
When I see footage of people being executed, or a dog splattered on a
highway... once you get past all of those emotions society would love
us to dwell upon such as pity, fear, guilt, and revulsion, you realize
on some level it's comical. On other levels, it's beautiful; I want
to kiss a gaping wound and take a bite out of it. The texture of
destroyed flesh, the way exposed fat and bloody tissues shines is
highly attractive, I can assign to it the same obsessive respect of
high rennaisance.
So no, I haven't dedicated myself to the horror genre, but hope to
embelish upon it more ambiguous and original concepts... I suppose
I'd rather invent a genre called "Disturbing." If I were to walk into
a video store and see a shelf titled "Disturbing," I'd go there
first.”
Joel:
“This is all we should keep:
"I haven't dedicated myself to the horror genre, but hope to
embelish upon it more ambiguous and original concepts... I suppose
I'd rather invent a genre called "Disturbing." If I were to walk into
a video store and see a shelf titled "Disturbing," I'd go there
first."
Fuck the rest of that blubbering. We can cover the broader things as
the correspondence continues...
Just send questions and I'll reply when possible. Timezones make this
difficult. Or we could just use a telephone.”
Luke:
“We'll use that edited portion.
next question:
I'd definitly go there pretty often too. I'm not exactly sure why I'm
attracted to that sort of material.I guess I haven't intellectualized
my motivations for consuming it, or the creators' motivations beyond
surface level. I've always thought -on a basic level- it had something
to do with satisfying some kind of nihilistic, anit-social urge.
Do you have any working theory as to why you are so attracted to that
kind of material, why you feel compelled to draw "disturbing" comics?
-LP
Side note:
I'll be around all day today. Once we dig into it, we'll figure out
the best ways to go about it. I want to maintain a conversational tone.”
Joel:
“I'm on a campaign to be nocturnal.
I'm staying up for the next 3 hours, will check for replies:
On the surface, "disturbing" forms of art appear to be nihilistic. I
suppose the most recognized examples I can think of are David Lynch
movies, or the work of Francis Bacon. While I cannot speak for
humanity, I can say that a lot of us want to be disturbed by art. And
if the artist, in creating disturbing art, is fulfilling a human want,
then you could say that it's not very nihilistic at all. The real
nihilists are commiting suicide, and recording mainstream
sports-metal.
However, there are those of us who as a result of some genetic or
environmental coincidence have an unusual taste for the stuff. Mine
is sexual. As a very young child, violence and bondage exhilarated
me.
-JC
Conversational, that's key.”
Luke:
“Two-part question
Pretty intruiging. So, it's essentially a kind of hedonistic excersice?
Do you draw a distinction between what you are doing and straight-up
pornography ( or "erotica" if you prefer) ?
Are your friends or your family aware of your comics and art? Do you
show it to them?
-LP”
Joel:
“Pure erotica is about as stupid as golf. I love it, but I'm aware
that it's a temporary pleasure, like eating. If I find something
sexual, I mutate it. I distort my sexuality if I obsess over it
through art. Mutilated women are just sexy. So I draw dog bondage.
My prick just leaps when I think about that now. So later on maybe
I'll draw dog headed women with their arms skin grafted surgically to
their torsos so they can be more easily fucked.
Anyone who asks me why I would save a picture of a tied up cat about
to be neutered can get the story. My best friends know about it, and
they're all feminists. I go over there for vegan food all the time.
My parents are definitely against it. All of my relatives would freak
out. My brothers think it's hilarious. I know when not to bring it
up. Definitely not at work, or with anyone who's really into Reggae,
or US military homophobes.”
Luke:
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
Joel:
“I had a few in the past, they were okay but I dumped them. It's no
big deal. I'd actually rather have a boyfriend right now.”
Luke:
“I guess I'm wondering how your rectify your proclivities with your
real life environment. I mean, if you saw a woman on the street who'd
just been mutilated, how would you react to it?
You are clearly interested in the stylization of violence in your
comics and artwork-you use manga to tell fantastic stories- so I guess
I have a hard time believeing that the realities of sexually violent
behaviors is something that you bring to the table while creating. Are
mutilated women sexy, or are depictions of mutilated women sexy? Or
both?”
Joel:
“Both. Anything can be anything. But I have a skill that is bestowed
upon everyone when they're no longer in grade school: I can separate
fiction from reality. If I saw woman who'd just been mutilated, I'd
call the cops. Then I'd definitely beat off about it when I got home.
I'm against sexism. I'm a feminist myself-- if I found some guys in
the middle of trying to gang rape some girl, I'd get my friends and
some baseball bats, break their kneecaps and call the cops.
Manga style is appealing to me, because of the ideas it advertizes.
It's sober, controlled, very zen, very proper. It's broadcasting to
the world: I'm capable of thinking and drawing anything I want, and
I'm not going to be nervous about what others are saying about it.”
Luke:
“You have a moral compunction against rape or actual violence against
women, but you fantasize about these very things. Doesn't that moral
compunction kinda ruin it for you? I don't know how I could maintain a
boner..
I understand the difference between fantasy and reality,
obviously, but for me the most "effective" fantasies are ones that in
some way attain a certain realism; I don't fantasize abut things that
I wouldn't want to happen in real life, even if it couldn't possibly
occur. I'm not saying that you do want these things to occur in
reality- I'm not trying to "bust" you- I'm just trying to understand .
I'm not sure how someone could feel empathy for the suffering of
someone else - in this case for horrific violence- and then masturbate
about it later. I don't understand how someone could be a feminist and
allow himself to indulge fantasies involving violence against women.
To what do you ascribe your proclivities?”
Joel:
“At the age of six, the dissection of a large, restrained beetle in a
scientific documentary gave me an erection. Subsequently I was
aroused upon seeing other situations of restraint, such as a drawing
of a female cartoon character wearing a chain and collar, trapping my
cat under a laundry basket, or something comic book dorks might be
more familiar with: Princess leia.”
“I don't sit around "training" myself to be more of a pervert. I just
am a pervert. So instead of whacking myself with a bible, I'm going
to draw some great comics. It's like some kind of perpetual energy
source for me. To exist in this society I have to be a total
hypocrite, a contradiction, a paradox. The only way to turn this
machine off is to kill me.
Funny you bring up realism as a requirement to jerk off. I highly
agree. That's why I plan to draw in a very realistic manner.
Joel:
“Side note: This is a pretty intense interview so far.”
Luke:
“Yeah I know. I think it's good, but we need to pace it a bit. We'll be
able to copy edit it at will, so maybe I'll
put the last question towards the beggining.”
Luke:
“We'll maybe come back to some of this stuff a bit later. A few
questions are formulating as we type.
Let's get back to basics for now- Are you in school? If so, what are
you studying? Do you have a job?
Do you live alone? Some info about your day-to-day is what I'm after here.”
Joel :
“I adhere to my own philosophy which is good-natured sadism. It's
still in the beginning phases, and I don't think it will ever be a
"complete" philosophy, because I don't agree with telling other people
what to do.
My comics will be the product of this philosophy.”
Joel:
“I currently live with my parents and attend art school at the
University of Hawaii. Studying history and drawing/painting. I work
in the library putting books back on shelves and am soon going to get
a job washing dishes. Planning to move out soon, it seems like the
only thing I don't like about my life right now.”
Luke:
“I'm not sure what this is in response to.Is it an addendum to your
last response?
Side note/ rhetorical question.Isn't "good-natured sadism" an
oxymoron? If somebody really wants to be struck with a whip, wouldn't
the most sadistic thing be to not hit them?”
Joel:
“Voracious consumer of books, movies, alcohol, and music. I go to bars
now and then. I recently befriended a packrat, who has an enormous
amount of interesting magazines and books she has acquired from thrift
stores... they have amazing examples of 60's and 70's fashion, and
she lets me borrow anything I want.”
Luke:
“That sounds pretty sweet to me. I'd milk it for as long as possible.
Are there any specific artists- comics, film, literature, visual
arts,- that are particiularly inspiring to you?
Also- I know you make music as well as comics.Care to talk about your
musical pursuits?”
Joel:
“Side note: Haha, this email thing is fucking everything up.
I adhere to my own philosophy which is good-natured sadism. It's
still in the beginning phases, and I don't think it will ever be a
"complete" philosophy, because I don't agree with telling other people
what to do.
My comics will be the product of this philosophy.
Side note/ rhetorical question.Isn't "good-natured sadism" an
oxymoron? If somebody really wants to be struck with a whip, wouldn't
the most sadistic thing be to not hit them?
The most sadistic thing would be to strike them with a white hot iron
chain and burn their flesh and rape them while they die.
But you're right, "good natured-sadism" is an oxy-moron. But of all
the philosophies thus far, it seems to be working the best for me
specifically. I don't even know what the hell to believe every time I
wake up. That's why I am known as a very energetic and strange
person.”
Luke:
“We'll leave this thread alone for now and go with the other one.If you
feel like you need to take more time with your responses, feel free. I
have to go to sleep pretty soon; I inexplicably woke up at 430 am this
morning, so I'm pretty tired. If I get a response from you in the next
couple of minutes, I'll send off one more question.If not, I'm saying
goodnight. Don't feel rushed.”
Joel:
“Gosh, there are so many. But the real aces are easy to pick out.
Seijun Suzuki's film, Branded To Kill has inspired me a great deal.
Also, The Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa. What I enjoy about these
films is the craftsmanship, and the blending of Eastern and Western
ideas.
Visually I've really respected the Ukiyo-e tradtition. Hokusai and
Hiroshige are endlessly impressive. Manga could not have happened
without Ukiyo-e. I also enjoy the rennaisance, in particular painters
like Gericault and Carravagio.
Comic books wise, I'd say my favorites are Clowes, Chris Ware, Maruo,
and Junji Ito. I love Katsuhiro Otomo as well. There really isn't
much going on with comics, but that's because it's a very new field.
The industry today isn't worth talking about in depth, but I think it
would help if people realized you don't have to like superheroes to be
a fanboy.”
Joel:
“For some reason, the thought of making music alone doesn't intrigue
me. I think I am really a closet socialite. I recorded a bunch of
music by myself but it never reached the level of excitement I wanted.
I love the electric guitar, I also love digital music, and classical
music. I'd love to start a band with several like-minded individuals
and do live performances of some sort... I have a person in mind, but
we're not in the same town. The future is bright...”
Joel:
“Side note: Okay, good night then. I'm actually learning a lot about
myself. I'm more fucked up than I thought.”
Luke:
“Allright- last question for tonight. I think maybe one more round of
this and we'll be set.
-Do you hang out with comics people? Is there any kind of comics/manga
scene where you are living (Honolul,is it?) ?
Speaking of which - To me most of us here in the Midwest, living in
Hawaii sounds like a dream, but- and I know this from an email you
sent me a while back- You don't much like it. Can you expand on that a
little bit?
Do you get to the mainland often?
-Tommorrow we'll get into your comics .
Talk to you tomorrow. (are you free ?)
Thanks for doing this Joel- Luke P.”
Joel:
“Lots of final exams and bullshit tomorrow. Then I have to do drugs.
So I'll see you on monday, pal.”
(The Next Day)
Joel:
“I don't hang out with anyone who draws comics. I would love to, but I
haven't found anyone who is compatible with me. I had a few run-ins
with comic artists here and tried to conform to their world, but it
ended up being a disaster (a pretty funny one, in my opinion.)
The unifying concept that made me incompatible with them was the fact
that they were all reeling from adolescent problems. Because comics
are a magnet for sensitive and lonely people, they fit the stereotype.
When I ceased contact with them, my drawings improved tenfold.
It would be ideal to meet other artists of my volition, but it's not
necessary. I can be friends with anyone.
I correspond with several artists through the internet, though they
are illustrators and painters.
I'm starting to actually like Hawaii in some respects, but I
definitely want to move. The only bad thing about this place is the
lack of events. I need to see some deathmetal live, and all we have
here are coconuts.
I hung out in the bay area last christmas, drank a six-pack on my
brother's couch. It was definitely an indicator that I need to live
in a big city. Somewhere colder. It's so hot in Hawaii I have to
draw all of my comics in my underwear.”
Joel:
“Edit: I can be friends with anyone who can take care of themselves.”
- And that was it.
Ultimately, the anthology did not happen. In Retrospect, I see in myself, and in Joel, the fatal ingredient , the poison in the vein I sought to expose; The adolescent urge to destroy, but the inability to imagine a way to rebuild. Maybe this isn't gleaned from the interview, but it's what was going on with me personally. This interview revealed a kind of myopic self-obsession, or obsession with ones’ own fucked-upedness that I now associate with certain kinds of art and comics- the kind that I was after during this period.
But, really, I dredged up in this interview much more than I was comfortable with. I didn't have any interest in continuing the interview. Bad vibes...
It kind of cast a nasty shadow over the whole project. I lost the focus, I lost the desire to see it through.
For the record, I bear no ill-will towards "Joel C." and when I talk about him aping Maruo, it's not mean as a 'dis'. I think it's perfectly respectable to start out mimicking your favorite artists.
( I sent this email minutes ago)
Luke:
“Hey Joel! Are you still out there? Are you still doing comics? this
is Luke Przybylski. We emailed a few years ago ( Maybe two years?)
about your comics.
Get back to me.”
Joel:
“”.It was rather disappointing that you abruptly vanished. But I do think you had a respectable drawing style and stance on the artform. If you are in the chicago area and interested in hanging out, call me at (Phone #). I don't go on the internet more than once every two weeks.”
Luke:
“I thought you vanished! WTF! well, whatever, that's settled.
I've moved back to St. Paul Minnesota, where I'm originally from.
Do you have a site anymore?”
Joel:
“I was emailing you initially to ask if it was alright if I put that
interview we did a while back up on a new blog some friends and I are
starting. If you'd prefer not to, I can keep it anonymous. I just
think it's an interesting interview.
Let me know.
p.s- what nieghborhood in Chicago are you in?
-LUKE P.
the new blog will be EatenByDucks.blogspot.com .
It's not up yet. It's going to be a great blog, with great
contributing cartoonists, writers and artists.
Do you have any interest in joining up?”
Joel:
“No, the internet is for faggots”
Luke :
“-I'll do it under a fake name then…”
THE END
It was also notable for its out-and-out aping of the work of Erotic-Grotesque Manga master Sehuro Maruo, who’s mined themes that ( as you’ll read) the young cartoonist could relate to, and also saw a nail-on-the-head synchronicity in terms of the young artists’ style/craft aspirations.
At the time -maybe two years ago- I was planning on putting together a small press comics anthology . This anthology was to be a celebration of an overtly ‘underground’ sensibility that I thought woefully under-represented in the contemporary small press.
I meant to tap into the same vien that the original UG cartoonists tapped into; your S. Clay Wilsons and Rory Hayes, even you’re early Richard Corbens ( this wasn’ about “art”, it was about underground comics). Sex, violence, alienation, fantasy ( in the best sense of the word..). It seemed “Alternative”, or “Independent” were obsolte descriptors in comics- they’d been replaced by “Literary”, or “Art”. It may have been some kind of juvenille reaction on my part, but I wanted to kick this new paradigm in its hairless, shriveled, collegiate ballsack. Needless to say, this kid fit the bill; he came from out of nowhere with a big pile of finished underground horror comics.
As I was “editing” ( more like soliciting) content for the anthology, I was working on putting together material for a blog I set to launch concurrent with the publication of the anthology. Interviewing ( who we’ll call "Joel C.") seemed like a great idea.; solid content that potential fans might enjoy. I saw Joels’ comics as a centerpiece of the new anthology.The cynic in me saw a great “branding” opportunity. The idealist saw it as raising a defiant flag of sorts. This would be a glimpse into the suburban basement where I saw a lot of the artists I liked sweating over messy scraps of Bristol, all tapped into the same vein.
I asked if I could publsih a strip of his, and he agreed. I asked if I could inerview him, and he agreed. There’s no telling how it might’ve turned out had we spoken in person, over the phone, but, broke as I was ( am) , I couldn’t afford a long distance call. we settled on emailing. We did try to do it in real time, however.
What follows is a barely edited transcript of our email interview.It isn't "finished" as such. Any out-of-place responses should be chalked up to the vagaries of emailing.
Luke:
“…I need a short amount of biographical data from you- This
is the stuff that I'll build the introduction of the interview from. I
may or may not copy it as-is. In other words, if you could tell me a
little bit about yourself: age, location, all that, it would be good.
I'd also like to know how long you've been drawing comics . I'll be
back from work way late tonight, so the rest will have to go down
another time ( tomorrow?). But, a short bio is a good place to start.”
Joel:
“bio: I am 22 years of age. I live in honolulu, hawaii. I began
drawing comics at the age of five, but they weren't really anything
substantial until the age of 19, where I finally stopped drawing
anime.
Subsequently I have destroyed all previous comics except for one,
which was inspired by drugs. It wasn't anything special, but there
was a certain horrific aspect in that comic which I wanted to recreate
with more intensity. At that point I knew what I wanted to do, and I
also knew it would take a lot of practice.”
Luke:
“Joel- You mentioned a "certain horrific aspect"- Is the Horror genre
something you've dedicated yourself to? If so, why?”
Joel :
“As a very young child, violence and bondage exhilarated me. At the
age of six, the dissection of a large, restrained beetle in a
scientific documentary gave me an erection. Subsequently I was
aroused upon seeing other situations of restraint, such as a drawing
of a female cartoon character wearing a chain and collar, trapping my
cat under a laundry basket, or something comic book dorks might be
more familiar with: Princess leia.
Years have progressed and I have long ago come to the realization that
it's idiotic to dedicate one's life to gratifying one's own sexual
urges in artwork. Which may seem hypocritical since I love depicting
sexual violence in my art. This is because I hope not just to get
myself off, but also study just what it is about violence that
fascinates me. I want my artwork to be highly sexual, but relevant to
things beyond sex. I think the horror genre has pioneered this aspect
to the most serious degree.
I believe that making sex into something trivial and of no importance
might be achieved by overloading my work with it-- desensitization.
What I see in mainstream forms of art today is the looming issue of
sex which dominates the actions of artists in the background, unseen.
I want to bring sex into the open, demystify it, and make it into
something silly.
When I see footage of people being executed, or a dog splattered on a
highway... once you get past all of those emotions society would love
us to dwell upon such as pity, fear, guilt, and revulsion, you realize
on some level it's comical. On other levels, it's beautiful; I want
to kiss a gaping wound and take a bite out of it. The texture of
destroyed flesh, the way exposed fat and bloody tissues shines is
highly attractive, I can assign to it the same obsessive respect of
high rennaisance.
So no, I haven't dedicated myself to the horror genre, but hope to
embelish upon it more ambiguous and original concepts... I suppose
I'd rather invent a genre called "Disturbing." If I were to walk into
a video store and see a shelf titled "Disturbing," I'd go there
first.”
Joel:
“This is all we should keep:
"I haven't dedicated myself to the horror genre, but hope to
embelish upon it more ambiguous and original concepts... I suppose
I'd rather invent a genre called "Disturbing." If I were to walk into
a video store and see a shelf titled "Disturbing," I'd go there
first."
Fuck the rest of that blubbering. We can cover the broader things as
the correspondence continues...
Just send questions and I'll reply when possible. Timezones make this
difficult. Or we could just use a telephone.”
Luke:
“We'll use that edited portion.
next question:
I'd definitly go there pretty often too. I'm not exactly sure why I'm
attracted to that sort of material.I guess I haven't intellectualized
my motivations for consuming it, or the creators' motivations beyond
surface level. I've always thought -on a basic level- it had something
to do with satisfying some kind of nihilistic, anit-social urge.
Do you have any working theory as to why you are so attracted to that
kind of material, why you feel compelled to draw "disturbing" comics?
-LP
Side note:
I'll be around all day today. Once we dig into it, we'll figure out
the best ways to go about it. I want to maintain a conversational tone.”
Joel:
“I'm on a campaign to be nocturnal.
I'm staying up for the next 3 hours, will check for replies:
On the surface, "disturbing" forms of art appear to be nihilistic. I
suppose the most recognized examples I can think of are David Lynch
movies, or the work of Francis Bacon. While I cannot speak for
humanity, I can say that a lot of us want to be disturbed by art. And
if the artist, in creating disturbing art, is fulfilling a human want,
then you could say that it's not very nihilistic at all. The real
nihilists are commiting suicide, and recording mainstream
sports-metal.
However, there are those of us who as a result of some genetic or
environmental coincidence have an unusual taste for the stuff. Mine
is sexual. As a very young child, violence and bondage exhilarated
me.
-JC
Conversational, that's key.”
Luke:
“Two-part question
Pretty intruiging. So, it's essentially a kind of hedonistic excersice?
Do you draw a distinction between what you are doing and straight-up
pornography ( or "erotica" if you prefer) ?
Are your friends or your family aware of your comics and art? Do you
show it to them?
-LP”
Joel:
“Pure erotica is about as stupid as golf. I love it, but I'm aware
that it's a temporary pleasure, like eating. If I find something
sexual, I mutate it. I distort my sexuality if I obsess over it
through art. Mutilated women are just sexy. So I draw dog bondage.
My prick just leaps when I think about that now. So later on maybe
I'll draw dog headed women with their arms skin grafted surgically to
their torsos so they can be more easily fucked.
Anyone who asks me why I would save a picture of a tied up cat about
to be neutered can get the story. My best friends know about it, and
they're all feminists. I go over there for vegan food all the time.
My parents are definitely against it. All of my relatives would freak
out. My brothers think it's hilarious. I know when not to bring it
up. Definitely not at work, or with anyone who's really into Reggae,
or US military homophobes.”
Luke:
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
Joel:
“I had a few in the past, they were okay but I dumped them. It's no
big deal. I'd actually rather have a boyfriend right now.”
Luke:
“I guess I'm wondering how your rectify your proclivities with your
real life environment. I mean, if you saw a woman on the street who'd
just been mutilated, how would you react to it?
You are clearly interested in the stylization of violence in your
comics and artwork-you use manga to tell fantastic stories- so I guess
I have a hard time believeing that the realities of sexually violent
behaviors is something that you bring to the table while creating. Are
mutilated women sexy, or are depictions of mutilated women sexy? Or
both?”
Joel:
“Both. Anything can be anything. But I have a skill that is bestowed
upon everyone when they're no longer in grade school: I can separate
fiction from reality. If I saw woman who'd just been mutilated, I'd
call the cops. Then I'd definitely beat off about it when I got home.
I'm against sexism. I'm a feminist myself-- if I found some guys in
the middle of trying to gang rape some girl, I'd get my friends and
some baseball bats, break their kneecaps and call the cops.
Manga style is appealing to me, because of the ideas it advertizes.
It's sober, controlled, very zen, very proper. It's broadcasting to
the world: I'm capable of thinking and drawing anything I want, and
I'm not going to be nervous about what others are saying about it.”
Luke:
“You have a moral compunction against rape or actual violence against
women, but you fantasize about these very things. Doesn't that moral
compunction kinda ruin it for you? I don't know how I could maintain a
boner..
I understand the difference between fantasy and reality,
obviously, but for me the most "effective" fantasies are ones that in
some way attain a certain realism; I don't fantasize abut things that
I wouldn't want to happen in real life, even if it couldn't possibly
occur. I'm not saying that you do want these things to occur in
reality- I'm not trying to "bust" you- I'm just trying to understand .
I'm not sure how someone could feel empathy for the suffering of
someone else - in this case for horrific violence- and then masturbate
about it later. I don't understand how someone could be a feminist and
allow himself to indulge fantasies involving violence against women.
To what do you ascribe your proclivities?”
Joel:
“At the age of six, the dissection of a large, restrained beetle in a
scientific documentary gave me an erection. Subsequently I was
aroused upon seeing other situations of restraint, such as a drawing
of a female cartoon character wearing a chain and collar, trapping my
cat under a laundry basket, or something comic book dorks might be
more familiar with: Princess leia.”
“I don't sit around "training" myself to be more of a pervert. I just
am a pervert. So instead of whacking myself with a bible, I'm going
to draw some great comics. It's like some kind of perpetual energy
source for me. To exist in this society I have to be a total
hypocrite, a contradiction, a paradox. The only way to turn this
machine off is to kill me.
Funny you bring up realism as a requirement to jerk off. I highly
agree. That's why I plan to draw in a very realistic manner.
Joel:
“Side note: This is a pretty intense interview so far.”
Luke:
“Yeah I know. I think it's good, but we need to pace it a bit. We'll be
able to copy edit it at will, so maybe I'll
put the last question towards the beggining.”
Luke:
“We'll maybe come back to some of this stuff a bit later. A few
questions are formulating as we type.
Let's get back to basics for now- Are you in school? If so, what are
you studying? Do you have a job?
Do you live alone? Some info about your day-to-day is what I'm after here.”
Joel :
“I adhere to my own philosophy which is good-natured sadism. It's
still in the beginning phases, and I don't think it will ever be a
"complete" philosophy, because I don't agree with telling other people
what to do.
My comics will be the product of this philosophy.”
Joel:
“I currently live with my parents and attend art school at the
University of Hawaii. Studying history and drawing/painting. I work
in the library putting books back on shelves and am soon going to get
a job washing dishes. Planning to move out soon, it seems like the
only thing I don't like about my life right now.”
Luke:
“I'm not sure what this is in response to.Is it an addendum to your
last response?
Side note/ rhetorical question.Isn't "good-natured sadism" an
oxymoron? If somebody really wants to be struck with a whip, wouldn't
the most sadistic thing be to not hit them?”
Joel:
“Voracious consumer of books, movies, alcohol, and music. I go to bars
now and then. I recently befriended a packrat, who has an enormous
amount of interesting magazines and books she has acquired from thrift
stores... they have amazing examples of 60's and 70's fashion, and
she lets me borrow anything I want.”
Luke:
“That sounds pretty sweet to me. I'd milk it for as long as possible.
Are there any specific artists- comics, film, literature, visual
arts,- that are particiularly inspiring to you?
Also- I know you make music as well as comics.Care to talk about your
musical pursuits?”
Joel:
“Side note: Haha, this email thing is fucking everything up.
I adhere to my own philosophy which is good-natured sadism. It's
still in the beginning phases, and I don't think it will ever be a
"complete" philosophy, because I don't agree with telling other people
what to do.
My comics will be the product of this philosophy.
Side note/ rhetorical question.Isn't "good-natured sadism" an
oxymoron? If somebody really wants to be struck with a whip, wouldn't
the most sadistic thing be to not hit them?
The most sadistic thing would be to strike them with a white hot iron
chain and burn their flesh and rape them while they die.
But you're right, "good natured-sadism" is an oxy-moron. But of all
the philosophies thus far, it seems to be working the best for me
specifically. I don't even know what the hell to believe every time I
wake up. That's why I am known as a very energetic and strange
person.”
Luke:
“We'll leave this thread alone for now and go with the other one.If you
feel like you need to take more time with your responses, feel free. I
have to go to sleep pretty soon; I inexplicably woke up at 430 am this
morning, so I'm pretty tired. If I get a response from you in the next
couple of minutes, I'll send off one more question.If not, I'm saying
goodnight. Don't feel rushed.”
Joel:
“Gosh, there are so many. But the real aces are easy to pick out.
Seijun Suzuki's film, Branded To Kill has inspired me a great deal.
Also, The Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa. What I enjoy about these
films is the craftsmanship, and the blending of Eastern and Western
ideas.
Visually I've really respected the Ukiyo-e tradtition. Hokusai and
Hiroshige are endlessly impressive. Manga could not have happened
without Ukiyo-e. I also enjoy the rennaisance, in particular painters
like Gericault and Carravagio.
Comic books wise, I'd say my favorites are Clowes, Chris Ware, Maruo,
and Junji Ito. I love Katsuhiro Otomo as well. There really isn't
much going on with comics, but that's because it's a very new field.
The industry today isn't worth talking about in depth, but I think it
would help if people realized you don't have to like superheroes to be
a fanboy.”
Joel:
“For some reason, the thought of making music alone doesn't intrigue
me. I think I am really a closet socialite. I recorded a bunch of
music by myself but it never reached the level of excitement I wanted.
I love the electric guitar, I also love digital music, and classical
music. I'd love to start a band with several like-minded individuals
and do live performances of some sort... I have a person in mind, but
we're not in the same town. The future is bright...”
Joel:
“Side note: Okay, good night then. I'm actually learning a lot about
myself. I'm more fucked up than I thought.”
Luke:
“Allright- last question for tonight. I think maybe one more round of
this and we'll be set.
-Do you hang out with comics people? Is there any kind of comics/manga
scene where you are living (Honolul,is it?) ?
Speaking of which - To me most of us here in the Midwest, living in
Hawaii sounds like a dream, but- and I know this from an email you
sent me a while back- You don't much like it. Can you expand on that a
little bit?
Do you get to the mainland often?
-Tommorrow we'll get into your comics .
Talk to you tomorrow. (are you free ?)
Thanks for doing this Joel- Luke P.”
Joel:
“Lots of final exams and bullshit tomorrow. Then I have to do drugs.
So I'll see you on monday, pal.”
(The Next Day)
Joel:
“I don't hang out with anyone who draws comics. I would love to, but I
haven't found anyone who is compatible with me. I had a few run-ins
with comic artists here and tried to conform to their world, but it
ended up being a disaster (a pretty funny one, in my opinion.)
The unifying concept that made me incompatible with them was the fact
that they were all reeling from adolescent problems. Because comics
are a magnet for sensitive and lonely people, they fit the stereotype.
When I ceased contact with them, my drawings improved tenfold.
It would be ideal to meet other artists of my volition, but it's not
necessary. I can be friends with anyone.
I correspond with several artists through the internet, though they
are illustrators and painters.
I'm starting to actually like Hawaii in some respects, but I
definitely want to move. The only bad thing about this place is the
lack of events. I need to see some deathmetal live, and all we have
here are coconuts.
I hung out in the bay area last christmas, drank a six-pack on my
brother's couch. It was definitely an indicator that I need to live
in a big city. Somewhere colder. It's so hot in Hawaii I have to
draw all of my comics in my underwear.”
Joel:
“Edit: I can be friends with anyone who can take care of themselves.”
- And that was it.
Ultimately, the anthology did not happen. In Retrospect, I see in myself, and in Joel, the fatal ingredient , the poison in the vein I sought to expose; The adolescent urge to destroy, but the inability to imagine a way to rebuild. Maybe this isn't gleaned from the interview, but it's what was going on with me personally. This interview revealed a kind of myopic self-obsession, or obsession with ones’ own fucked-upedness that I now associate with certain kinds of art and comics- the kind that I was after during this period.
But, really, I dredged up in this interview much more than I was comfortable with. I didn't have any interest in continuing the interview. Bad vibes...
It kind of cast a nasty shadow over the whole project. I lost the focus, I lost the desire to see it through.
For the record, I bear no ill-will towards "Joel C." and when I talk about him aping Maruo, it's not mean as a 'dis'. I think it's perfectly respectable to start out mimicking your favorite artists.
( I sent this email minutes ago)
Luke:
“Hey Joel! Are you still out there? Are you still doing comics? this
is Luke Przybylski. We emailed a few years ago ( Maybe two years?)
about your comics.
Get back to me.”
Joel:
“”.It was rather disappointing that you abruptly vanished. But I do think you had a respectable drawing style and stance on the artform. If you are in the chicago area and interested in hanging out, call me at (Phone #). I don't go on the internet more than once every two weeks.”
Luke:
“I thought you vanished! WTF! well, whatever, that's settled.
I've moved back to St. Paul Minnesota, where I'm originally from.
Do you have a site anymore?”
Joel:
“I was emailing you initially to ask if it was alright if I put that
interview we did a while back up on a new blog some friends and I are
starting. If you'd prefer not to, I can keep it anonymous. I just
think it's an interesting interview.
Let me know.
p.s- what nieghborhood in Chicago are you in?
-LUKE P.
the new blog will be EatenByDucks.blogspot.com .
It's not up yet. It's going to be a great blog, with great
contributing cartoonists, writers and artists.
Do you have any interest in joining up?”
Joel:
“No, the internet is for faggots”
Luke :
“-I'll do it under a fake name then…”
THE END
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Unicorns and Alt. Weeklies
My pal Bert Stabler has a piece in the Chicago Reader in part about the connections between Fort Thunder-style comics productions and contemporary art. Here's the opening paragraph:
"Sometimes it seems that fine artists do little these days but rehash the tropes of midcentury minimalist, pop, and conceptual artists, who gazed into the void with an emotionless mix of nihilistic irony and pseudo-Zen austerity. But scenesters, and attentive shoppers at Urban Outfitters, know that the aughts have been blessed with a refreshingly romantic interest in pagan subjects and iconography, often expressed with preschoolish brio: imagine an orgy in a forest with bearded unicorns sporting magic fanny packs. This work is often written off, owing perhaps to its greater visibility as a fashion statement than an academically validated movement. But "Explore Your World," a show of "narrative" paintings by nine artists at the brand-new gallery Roots & Culture, reveals the hopeful directions this self-conscious space-hippie art can take."
You can read the whole thing here.
Marble Insanity!!!
I did some digital manipulations to maps from Marbless Madness, check it out. I really dig the weird MC Escher environements from the original game. I took the original maps and flipped them 4 times in symmetrical directions and got these weird labyrinth like environments. I'm planning on adapting a few of these into drawings, throwing in weird buildings and characters here and there, should be fun.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Max and Moritz
For those not in the know...the title of the blog refers to one of the earliest comic strips, Max and Moritz. The protagonists are eaten by ducks. Hope the link works; HTML is not my native tongue....
Friday, November 17, 2006
Having a bad day
Usually when I blog, I try to write lighthearted, amusing things. I mean, who wants to read depressing stuff, right? But this entry is not going to be so lighthearted.
I want everyone out there to know, its okay to have a bad day. Or even a bad week. Or even a bad month. Heck, if you have a bad year, that’s okay, too. It doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It doesn’t mean you need meds necessarily. It just means you’re having a bad moment. You’re allowed to.
So how do you get out of a funky mood? It’s different for everyone. Go for a walk. Listen to music. Hang out with friends. You know what you need to bring yourself out of a bad mood. Sometimes it just takes time. Time to think. Time to heal. Only you know what’s brought the mood on and only you can bring yourself out of the mood.
What’s making me write this? Numerous things. I have my personal reasons, which I’m not going to go into. But there are other things as well. For one, my agent’s blog this week dealt with people being pissy about her being the person she is. Another friend of mine is going through some difficult times and people aren’t supporting her. They’re ditching her because she’s no “fun” to be around. And yet another friend of mine is losing herself in alcohol because of things she’s going through.
Find what’s going to make you happy and do it. Life’s too short not to be happy.
Those of you who know me know that I tutor middle and high school students. I’m going to end this blog with something one my students said to me this week…Peace out!
I want everyone out there to know, its okay to have a bad day. Or even a bad week. Or even a bad month. Heck, if you have a bad year, that’s okay, too. It doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It doesn’t mean you need meds necessarily. It just means you’re having a bad moment. You’re allowed to.
So how do you get out of a funky mood? It’s different for everyone. Go for a walk. Listen to music. Hang out with friends. You know what you need to bring yourself out of a bad mood. Sometimes it just takes time. Time to think. Time to heal. Only you know what’s brought the mood on and only you can bring yourself out of the mood.
What’s making me write this? Numerous things. I have my personal reasons, which I’m not going to go into. But there are other things as well. For one, my agent’s blog this week dealt with people being pissy about her being the person she is. Another friend of mine is going through some difficult times and people aren’t supporting her. They’re ditching her because she’s no “fun” to be around. And yet another friend of mine is losing herself in alcohol because of things she’s going through.
Find what’s going to make you happy and do it. Life’s too short not to be happy.
Those of you who know me know that I tutor middle and high school students. I’m going to end this blog with something one my students said to me this week…Peace out!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
OMG!
So I'm watching the 20 sexiest men on the Country Music Channel and what commercial do I see? A GAY AD FOR 1-800-PROMALE, for realz! men callling men..on the CMT!!! Wow, this election really did have positive results!! ;-) peace
Why did I have a dream about a NAKED Charlie Sheen??
Really, I did. I was a photographer and was doing a photo shoot with him and he just stripped and got naked!! Ok, I don't particularly find him attractive, nor do I think he's a good actor. I'm not sure if I've even seen any of his "movies". WEIRD!
I don't see it
I don't see it
Saturday, November 11, 2006
State sponsored discrimination
Va votes to amend the constitution. Marriage is between a man and a woman. On the surface this seems like a good idea. When you look deeper it represents the further erosion of our rights and state sponsored discrimination.
People fear what they don't know or understand.
The new order of things is difficult to bring about and change (even a discussion of this magnitude) is always painful no matter the outcome. History and this last week in VA teaches us that populations find it easier to focus on differences and develop an enemy than to find combinality and work together towards a common goal.
This new "wave" of representatives will likely do no better than the last one. I am disheartened by much in our world today, but I take comfort in the fact that our system of gov't remains the most free on Earth. That said, we have so far to go... Democracy is messy and not perfect, but it is the best system out there for now...
Our leadership is on a roller coaster ride that changes little. Maturity, intelligence, and a spirit of loving "inclusion" is foreign to a society that mostly just does what is best for "ME" and acts on what it knows. State supported discrimination is universally wrong but it is an unfortunate reality as we see. The public did not see the danger in the precedent on this one. The shades of grey are not readily apparent to people even when the consequences appear so clear to many. The intersection between lifestyle, morality, religion, and law is a wasteland of little value.
Just as in WW1, the lines are drawn, the trenches are dug, and progress occurs inches at a time, when goals are hundreds of miles apart... We are in a mess and I am not sure anyone knows exactly how to get out... With that example.. we had to go and start over.. hence WWII.. and beyond. There was no winner, but many died.. That is the reality of battle of any kind.
I am disappointed, but not surprised in the outcome in VA. VA is not nearly as open or forward thinking as it likes to pretend to the world and it is not so different from much of this country. The constituents of the commonwealth made a poor decision on election day, but it is a decision nonetheless and we are all bound by it for now. New ground is formed, which provides opportunity to continue the discussion and activism. Change is best affected one on one, not en masse. People in large groups reject what is different from the "norm".. yet they can rarely even agree on a "norm".
I don't believe so much in doing on such a large scale any more... I know I know.. that isn't really logical.. but hang in for a few more paragraphs... We can accomplish change solely by being in our world. One can only really know a few people in the world at a time. That is a challenge but also an opportunity.
Small groups of overlapping, passionate, people CAN change the world. Think of the disciples, the founding fathers of the US. We must find our role, invest in who we are, and trust in God. Ultimately, we are called only to "love mercy, do justice and walk humbly" Micah 6:8
I place my hope in the Lord, not in principalities..
The text below was posted on "Consistently Inconsistent" (http://www.vatenor.blogspot.com) last year.. as dated... after a group of people at Branch's Baptist Church that I had trusted and believed in made poor decisions which hurt me and my family. It only took a few then to change things.. for better or worse.
NEVER underestimate what a few people can do!
Friday, May 20, 2005
Just being..
Life is about just being, and loving, and doing, and watching. It is largely a human invention that we must make or accomplish something..Nike says "just do it" but as powerful as doing is...I think I can accomplish very little without help. Even the great man that ever lived.. spent most of his time loving... Even then, people wanted him to do.. Jesus mostly just loved people and taught, yet his every statement changed his world. from John 15 "apart from me you can do nothing"... so if you believe that it doesn't really matter what Nike says... :)
Psa. 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My essence, my soul, is unique. I am special.. but I am not better than others. I am here to love and be loved. I thank God for that tremendous gift. Christ redeems me, and allows me to be his. My music, my skill is all a gift that I am bound to use to help towards the ultimate salvation of the entire world.
Galatians 3:22-28 Scripture declares that the whole world is a prisoner of sin, so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe. Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.
You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Any significant discussion of doing always ends up with a judgement of those who "obviously" aren't doing enough, or are doing the wrong things. Breaking the rules, not living up to expectations.. I love to judge just a much as anybody else, but it feels wrong... It is up to me to find ways to include not exclude those different from me... I ask for God's help in doing this. I try so hard not to judge..
My desire and ambition sends me down the road to excluding others, and showing that I am better than other.. by the world's standards of course... What a waste of energy. This hierarchy that we create for ourselves is at the root of our inability to embrace one another... We have to focus on our God, our savior.. and then we can figure out a way to live together.. My kids do their best, when they clearly understand what their focus should be.. They still stray, but they need me to guide them at the right level. I present a guiding principle and they find their way within it.. When I start making little petty rules, we all get in trouble...
So we are like the kids.. we must submit to the instruction of God, but we cannot deny our own ability and give up our unique value to support some institutional mold.. God didn't institute the hierarchy.. man did...
Lord, I release all my hopes and dreams to You this day. If there is anything that I am longing for is not to be a part of my life, I ask you to take it away the desire for it so that what SHOULD be in my life will be released to me. I lift up to You all that I desire, and I declare this day that I desire You more. I want the desires of my heart to line up with the desires of Your heart. I now take each step with the light of Your presence as my guide. AMEN
Jeremiah 23:16
People fear what they don't know or understand.
The new order of things is difficult to bring about and change (even a discussion of this magnitude) is always painful no matter the outcome. History and this last week in VA teaches us that populations find it easier to focus on differences and develop an enemy than to find combinality and work together towards a common goal.
This new "wave" of representatives will likely do no better than the last one. I am disheartened by much in our world today, but I take comfort in the fact that our system of gov't remains the most free on Earth. That said, we have so far to go... Democracy is messy and not perfect, but it is the best system out there for now...
Our leadership is on a roller coaster ride that changes little. Maturity, intelligence, and a spirit of loving "inclusion" is foreign to a society that mostly just does what is best for "ME" and acts on what it knows. State supported discrimination is universally wrong but it is an unfortunate reality as we see. The public did not see the danger in the precedent on this one. The shades of grey are not readily apparent to people even when the consequences appear so clear to many. The intersection between lifestyle, morality, religion, and law is a wasteland of little value.
Just as in WW1, the lines are drawn, the trenches are dug, and progress occurs inches at a time, when goals are hundreds of miles apart... We are in a mess and I am not sure anyone knows exactly how to get out... With that example.. we had to go and start over.. hence WWII.. and beyond. There was no winner, but many died.. That is the reality of battle of any kind.
I am disappointed, but not surprised in the outcome in VA. VA is not nearly as open or forward thinking as it likes to pretend to the world and it is not so different from much of this country. The constituents of the commonwealth made a poor decision on election day, but it is a decision nonetheless and we are all bound by it for now. New ground is formed, which provides opportunity to continue the discussion and activism. Change is best affected one on one, not en masse. People in large groups reject what is different from the "norm".. yet they can rarely even agree on a "norm".
I don't believe so much in doing on such a large scale any more... I know I know.. that isn't really logical.. but hang in for a few more paragraphs... We can accomplish change solely by being in our world. One can only really know a few people in the world at a time. That is a challenge but also an opportunity.
Small groups of overlapping, passionate, people CAN change the world. Think of the disciples, the founding fathers of the US. We must find our role, invest in who we are, and trust in God. Ultimately, we are called only to "love mercy, do justice and walk humbly" Micah 6:8
I place my hope in the Lord, not in principalities..
The text below was posted on "Consistently Inconsistent" (http://www.vatenor.blogspot.com) last year.. as dated... after a group of people at Branch's Baptist Church that I had trusted and believed in made poor decisions which hurt me and my family. It only took a few then to change things.. for better or worse.
NEVER underestimate what a few people can do!
Friday, May 20, 2005
Just being..
Life is about just being, and loving, and doing, and watching. It is largely a human invention that we must make or accomplish something..Nike says "just do it" but as powerful as doing is...I think I can accomplish very little without help. Even the great man that ever lived.. spent most of his time loving... Even then, people wanted him to do.. Jesus mostly just loved people and taught, yet his every statement changed his world. from John 15 "apart from me you can do nothing"... so if you believe that it doesn't really matter what Nike says... :)
Psa. 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My essence, my soul, is unique. I am special.. but I am not better than others. I am here to love and be loved. I thank God for that tremendous gift. Christ redeems me, and allows me to be his. My music, my skill is all a gift that I am bound to use to help towards the ultimate salvation of the entire world.
Galatians 3:22-28 Scripture declares that the whole world is a prisoner of sin, so that what was promised, being given through faith in Jesus Christ, might be given to those who believe. Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law.
You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Any significant discussion of doing always ends up with a judgement of those who "obviously" aren't doing enough, or are doing the wrong things. Breaking the rules, not living up to expectations.. I love to judge just a much as anybody else, but it feels wrong... It is up to me to find ways to include not exclude those different from me... I ask for God's help in doing this. I try so hard not to judge..
My desire and ambition sends me down the road to excluding others, and showing that I am better than other.. by the world's standards of course... What a waste of energy. This hierarchy that we create for ourselves is at the root of our inability to embrace one another... We have to focus on our God, our savior.. and then we can figure out a way to live together.. My kids do their best, when they clearly understand what their focus should be.. They still stray, but they need me to guide them at the right level. I present a guiding principle and they find their way within it.. When I start making little petty rules, we all get in trouble...
So we are like the kids.. we must submit to the instruction of God, but we cannot deny our own ability and give up our unique value to support some institutional mold.. God didn't institute the hierarchy.. man did...
Lord, I release all my hopes and dreams to You this day. If there is anything that I am longing for is not to be a part of my life, I ask you to take it away the desire for it so that what SHOULD be in my life will be released to me. I lift up to You all that I desire, and I declare this day that I desire You more. I want the desires of my heart to line up with the desires of Your heart. I now take each step with the light of Your presence as my guide. AMEN
Jeremiah 23:16
Carpe Diem
Yesterday I watched some of Good Will Hunting. Last week, I talked with a friend about my favorite movies... Dead Poet's Society was at the top of the list.
The struggle to find yourself and make a difference in the world is central to both. Being, doing, caring. all interesting things to talk about, but there are no real answers.
I was just watching some movie which supposedly quoted John Lennon. "Life is what happens to you when you are making plans" I didn't know the quote, but I do believe it.
Today was about just living in our world. We spent time with friends that we haven't really been close to in many years. He is preaching from 1 Peter 2:9-11 tomorrow, so that text is on my mind. When I read it, I include vs 13 because it seems relevant after this week in VA.
1 Peter 2:9-13 (The Message)
But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.
Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it. Don't indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they'll be won over to God's side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives.
Make the Master proud of you by being good citizens. Respect the authorities, whatever their level; they are God's emissaries for keeping order. It is God's will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of the fools who think you're a danger to society. Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules. Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family. Revere God. Respect the government.
Man, I have trouble with that last bit. I don't think the government is particularly good at their jobs. For that matter, even my church isn't good at its self government. We are in a mess.
That is why the first part is so important. We need to be salt and light in our world through "being Christians" first and our actions will show out that purpose if we are true. We must be responsible with what we have been given. We must show that we will make the hard decisions when presented with options.
Help one another whenever possible in whatever way possible. Sometimes that means doing things, other times it means just being there so that you can spend the day or just a few hours with friends.
For me, I plan to live each day to the fullest, partaking of what God has blessed me with. That blessing includes the good things and the bad. My judgement is impaired because of my perspective. I admit that. Through the holy spirit, I can connect with God directly and fulfill my calling as a priest in this world.
I can only live for the day. God is the day.
The struggle to find yourself and make a difference in the world is central to both. Being, doing, caring. all interesting things to talk about, but there are no real answers.
I was just watching some movie which supposedly quoted John Lennon. "Life is what happens to you when you are making plans" I didn't know the quote, but I do believe it.
Today was about just living in our world. We spent time with friends that we haven't really been close to in many years. He is preaching from 1 Peter 2:9-11 tomorrow, so that text is on my mind. When I read it, I include vs 13 because it seems relevant after this week in VA.
1 Peter 2:9-13 (The Message)
But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.
Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it. Don't indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they'll be won over to God's side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives.
Make the Master proud of you by being good citizens. Respect the authorities, whatever their level; they are God's emissaries for keeping order. It is God's will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of the fools who think you're a danger to society. Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules. Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family. Revere God. Respect the government.
Man, I have trouble with that last bit. I don't think the government is particularly good at their jobs. For that matter, even my church isn't good at its self government. We are in a mess.
That is why the first part is so important. We need to be salt and light in our world through "being Christians" first and our actions will show out that purpose if we are true. We must be responsible with what we have been given. We must show that we will make the hard decisions when presented with options.
Help one another whenever possible in whatever way possible. Sometimes that means doing things, other times it means just being there so that you can spend the day or just a few hours with friends.
For me, I plan to live each day to the fullest, partaking of what God has blessed me with. That blessing includes the good things and the bad. My judgement is impaired because of my perspective. I admit that. Through the holy spirit, I can connect with God directly and fulfill my calling as a priest in this world.
I can only live for the day. God is the day.
Friday, November 10, 2006
Okay, not so the techy genius
In my last post I was all proud of myself for being such a techy genius. I tried to post a picture and unfortunately I failed. Sad to say I’ve been trying all week to post a pic on my various blogs and have finally figured out that its my dial up connection. Yes, I’m on dial up. I’m a loser. If I were a real techy genius, I’d have very cool high speed connection. So one day in the future when I have high speed, I’ll post a picture and be very proud of my techy genius self.
Wednesday, November 8, 2006
Freedom...
...this video says it all. Didn't today just smell better? Just feel better...just...be a better day? ;-) peace
Tuesday, November 7, 2006
Homeless people like to talk to me...
...they do, I don't know why. They just don't ask me for money, they go beyond that...like that they know me...for instance; the guy who thought I was Mike. So I'm walking on my lunch break, remember I work in downtown Sacramento, CA's capital and there is a guy on the sidewalk asking people for money. I am not saying he's homeless, just that he looks a bit unkept and he has like a backpack and a garbage bag sitting next to him. I have my headphones on and I see his lips move but don't hear what he says, I sort of just smile and shake my head no. Then I hear him yell Hey! (over the sound of The Killers mind you, telling me about how when I was young) So I turn around and take off my head phones and say...what? He asks if we went to school together...oh hellz naw...he's gotta be like 50 and I know I don't even look my age now at *30sumtin* and I was like, um..no. He asked if I was from Virginia or Rhode Island or some state where the pilgrims shot us heathens (I am Native American for those just logging in)once again, I was like...no. So I put my headphones on and start walking away (there was a bowl of Thai noodles calling my name!) and I can still hear him yelling Hey!...oh so now he is going to start following me sreaming Mike! Mike! It's me Mike! We went to school together!
*sigh* Ok...I am not a patient man by nature, I don't like waiting, I impulse buy and the microwave needs to be upgraded to one of those replicators they have on Deep Space 9. I do though, tend to have more patience for those who are mentally disturbed (which is why I've kept my best friends this long!! *ba dump bump*) so I turn around to him and calmly explain I have never been to school back east, I have never met you before and I'm positive WE did not go to school together, sorry. He just gives ME this most disgusted look and says...fine Mike...be that way...and turns around to go back to his backpack and garbage bag.
I felt small. I wanted to run after him and say "look, if I was Mike I would so be talking to you, you seem cool...but I'm not Mike!". Then again, I have Thai noodles waiting for me, so we parted seperate ways.
On another note...did you vote?! I've been watching the polls and projections...it seems (lawd let it be!) that there may be a shift in Congress...I don't want to say anything, I'm just going to go watch CNN and light a candle.
;-) peace
p.s. I was trying to add some pics, but blogger is being difficult.
*sigh* Ok...I am not a patient man by nature, I don't like waiting, I impulse buy and the microwave needs to be upgraded to one of those replicators they have on Deep Space 9. I do though, tend to have more patience for those who are mentally disturbed (which is why I've kept my best friends this long!! *ba dump bump*) so I turn around to him and calmly explain I have never been to school back east, I have never met you before and I'm positive WE did not go to school together, sorry. He just gives ME this most disgusted look and says...fine Mike...be that way...and turns around to go back to his backpack and garbage bag.
I felt small. I wanted to run after him and say "look, if I was Mike I would so be talking to you, you seem cool...but I'm not Mike!". Then again, I have Thai noodles waiting for me, so we parted seperate ways.
On another note...did you vote?! I've been watching the polls and projections...it seems (lawd let it be!) that there may be a shift in Congress...I don't want to say anything, I'm just going to go watch CNN and light a candle.
;-) peace
p.s. I was trying to add some pics, but blogger is being difficult.
Monday, November 6, 2006
Now I have something to say...
...has anyone else (who doesn't live in a cave) been following this? I love it, I'm sure most people are keeping up on this story of the religious leader and the gay prostitute in Colorado (link at end of paragraph) , but if not...well the religious leader is saying yes he did contact Jones (a gay male prostitute) for a "massage" and yes he did buy drugs from him...but he threw the drugs away and all he got was a massage! Now remember, he is CURRENTLY (or was until this week) campaigning and lobbying to prevent gay marriage and to have the CO constitution amended to restrict gay marriage! He's the spiritual leader (LOL) of the National Association of Evangelicals.
Yes, I'm kicking my heels up in glee, I will be posting info about this story as it goes on, on my blog.
Oh I don't wanna hear how, his marriage is failing...and his family is being torn apart and the grief it's causing his congregation and children. F..that! At least he gets a marriage, he gets to have his family and congregation recognized and have children without anyone pointing fingers and condemning him, the wonderful life that he has, the same life he wants to deny gay and lesbian people and has been trying to do so for years well,it's crumbling and so...I personally...am waiting for his glass house....... to fall the F*ck DOWN!! ;-)
AND NOW...he is saying he was he was guilty of sexual immorality.
read this
Yes, I'm kicking my heels up in glee, I will be posting info about this story as it goes on, on my blog.
Oh I don't wanna hear how, his marriage is failing...and his family is being torn apart and the grief it's causing his congregation and children. F..that! At least he gets a marriage, he gets to have his family and congregation recognized and have children without anyone pointing fingers and condemning him, the wonderful life that he has, the same life he wants to deny gay and lesbian people and has been trying to do so for years well,it's crumbling and so...I personally...am waiting for his glass house....... to fall the F*ck DOWN!! ;-)
AND NOW...he is saying he was he was guilty of sexual immorality.
read this
Sunday, November 5, 2006
Nothing to say...
...really...I have nothing to say. Okay I could talk about how my drug addict sister is back in our lives or how my car is making a funny noise...but I mean...I want this blog entertaining. ;-) peace
Saturday, November 4, 2006
Accountability
Is accountability the "special sauce" of maturity and success. We all make good decisions and poor decisions.. the willingness to step up and own our decisions is how I evaluate myself and others. Honest accountability overcomes a great multitude of challenges...communications, ego, expertise. The list goes on.
Successful leaders have a trail of achievement... The achievements were done by many, but the accountability is both group and individual. Each person is responsible for their actions.
Leaders must be accountable for ALL and understand the burden they assume. Our society naively assumes that all must be leaders. Maybe this is so, and then again, maybe we are getting ourselves into so much trouble these days because we promote too many leaders.
"In a completely rational society, the best of us would aspire to be teachers and the rest of us would have to settle for something less, because passing civilization along from one generation to the next ought to be the highest honor and the highest responsibility anyone could have." Lee Iacocca
Leadership without accountability is guaranteed to bring disaster!
James 3 (from The Message)
Don't be in any rush to become a teacher, my friends. Teaching is highly responsible work. Teachers are held to the strictest standards. And none of us is perfectly qualified. We get it wrong nearly every time we open our mouths. If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you'd have a perfect person, in perfect control of life.
A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!
Successful leaders have a trail of achievement... The achievements were done by many, but the accountability is both group and individual. Each person is responsible for their actions.
Leaders must be accountable for ALL and understand the burden they assume. Our society naively assumes that all must be leaders. Maybe this is so, and then again, maybe we are getting ourselves into so much trouble these days because we promote too many leaders.
"In a completely rational society, the best of us would aspire to be teachers and the rest of us would have to settle for something less, because passing civilization along from one generation to the next ought to be the highest honor and the highest responsibility anyone could have." Lee Iacocca
Leadership without accountability is guaranteed to bring disaster!
James 3 (from The Message)
Don't be in any rush to become a teacher, my friends. Teaching is highly responsible work. Teachers are held to the strictest standards. And none of us is perfectly qualified. We get it wrong nearly every time we open our mouths. If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you'd have a perfect person, in perfect control of life.
A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!
Partnerships
We all go through the world as partners in life yet partnering and unity in community is the most difficult thing in the world to achieve. I am watching the Blue and the Gray as I write this. It is a treatise on relationships and adversarial politics. The "artist" view of the greatest catastrophe in American history. We all know the story, but the sensitivity of the characters and the simple smiles and actions are what strike me as I watch now.
My world is in the middle of an election cycle. My church is divided in its approach to worship and ministry. My friends spend more time expecting of others than focusing on their own actions.
A house divided cannot succeed. No matter the house...
When I go to work in the mornings, I seek credit and accomplishment. I crave recognition and achievement. These things are not inherently bad, but the methods used to achieve them can be. I must find a way to partner with my entire world. That world, includes those I agree and disagree with... Identify the prize, focus on the mission, the objective and remain true in spirit. I can only do MY part. We all work together to actually accomplish most anything.
I can never do enough to meet the expectations of my world or my friends but I can trust in my intentions and actions. I can invest in the people around me and do what I can do. I must trust my instincts, my gut, and the holy spirit. The spirit works through me in all that I do.. the good, the bad, the failures and successes... I learn from them all, and I adjust my actions accordingly.
Romans 1:8-12 from "The Message"
I thank God through Jesus for every one of you. That's first. People everywhere keep telling me about your lives of faith, and every time I hear them, I thank him. And God, whom I so love to worship and serve by spreading the good news of his Son—the Message!—knows that every time I think of you in my prayers, which is practically all the time, I ask him to clear the way for me to come and see you. The longer this waiting goes on, the deeper the ache. I so want to be there to deliver God's gift in person and watch you grow stronger right before my eyes! But don't think I'm not expecting to get something out of this, too! You have as much to give me as I do to you.
My world is in the middle of an election cycle. My church is divided in its approach to worship and ministry. My friends spend more time expecting of others than focusing on their own actions.
A house divided cannot succeed. No matter the house...
When I go to work in the mornings, I seek credit and accomplishment. I crave recognition and achievement. These things are not inherently bad, but the methods used to achieve them can be. I must find a way to partner with my entire world. That world, includes those I agree and disagree with... Identify the prize, focus on the mission, the objective and remain true in spirit. I can only do MY part. We all work together to actually accomplish most anything.
I can never do enough to meet the expectations of my world or my friends but I can trust in my intentions and actions. I can invest in the people around me and do what I can do. I must trust my instincts, my gut, and the holy spirit. The spirit works through me in all that I do.. the good, the bad, the failures and successes... I learn from them all, and I adjust my actions accordingly.
Romans 1:8-12 from "The Message"
I thank God through Jesus for every one of you. That's first. People everywhere keep telling me about your lives of faith, and every time I hear them, I thank him. And God, whom I so love to worship and serve by spreading the good news of his Son—the Message!—knows that every time I think of you in my prayers, which is practically all the time, I ask him to clear the way for me to come and see you. The longer this waiting goes on, the deeper the ache. I so want to be there to deliver God's gift in person and watch you grow stronger right before my eyes! But don't think I'm not expecting to get something out of this, too! You have as much to give me as I do to you.
Friday, November 3, 2006
quite the techy genius
Well, I’m quite the techy genius now. I’ve been clicking around my blog (I’ve got three now, 1 personal and 2 group), learning the ins and outs. I’m feeling pretty proud of the fact I learned how to blog roll people (we won’t mention the fact it took me umpteen hours). Anyhow, I’m now going to attempt to add a picture, so here goes…
Um, well, apparently I'm not a techy genius. I'll try the picture thing again next week.
Now onto shouts out. Let me give a shout out to Connie, Sarah, Megan, Brittney and all the other girls that attended my writing workshop at Fernandina High School. And an extra special shout out goes to Carissa for being too cute and very smart. You girls rock!
Um, well, apparently I'm not a techy genius. I'll try the picture thing again next week.
Now onto shouts out. Let me give a shout out to Connie, Sarah, Megan, Brittney and all the other girls that attended my writing workshop at Fernandina High School. And an extra special shout out goes to Carissa for being too cute and very smart. You girls rock!
Wednesday, November 1, 2006
Fast and Fatal Fiction Writing Contest
Every author at every level should be committed to keeping their name in front of readers. Are you between books? Looking for a way to revive characters from books that have been out for a while? Want to introduce new characters for upcoming books? Looking for a way to build your readership? Have we got a promotional opportunity for you!
Everybody loves a mystery! For November we would like you to write and submit your most murderous and original story and be thankful you aren't the victim! Echelon Press would like to publish your "Fast and Fatal" November story. The fast part means you have until November 14, 2006 to submit your story of 3000-6000 words. The winner will be notified by November 16, 2006 and have 5 days to edit/revise the story. Echelon Press will publish your story in its e-book division on November 23, 2006. Simple!
Send your submissions to contest@echelonpress.com
Our only real request is that a murder be the catalyst for your story! Contemporary, historical, noir, or horror as long as somebody gets killed, you get the point. Stories must adhere to the following guidelines.
Standard Manuscript format
Everybody loves a mystery! For November we would like you to write and submit your most murderous and original story and be thankful you aren't the victim! Echelon Press would like to publish your "Fast and Fatal" November story. The fast part means you have until November 14, 2006 to submit your story of 3000-6000 words. The winner will be notified by November 16, 2006 and have 5 days to edit/revise the story. Echelon Press will publish your story in its e-book division on November 23, 2006. Simple!
Send your submissions to contest@echelonpress.com
Our only real request is that a murder be the catalyst for your story! Contemporary, historical, noir, or horror as long as somebody gets killed, you get the point. Stories must adhere to the following guidelines.
Standard Manuscript format
- File saved in Word format (.doc) or (.rtf)
- 8 ½ x 11 page
- Times New Roman 12pt font/black
- 1-inch margin on all sides/ 1.5 line spacing
- Align text left, do not justify (aligning text both left and right)
- Header containing title, author name and page number
- Capital letters at the beginning of sentences and proper nouns
- Show new paragraphs by indenting first line of new paragraph .3. Do not add blank line between paragraphs.
- Show scene breaks with * * * * centered in the appropriate line.
All cover letters must include
- Name (and pseudonym if applicable)
- Mailing address
- Phone number
- E-mail address (if available)
- Web address (if available)
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