Take Five

Went to a Dave Brubeck concert tonight at the Catholic church.. It opened with a 45 minute set of classic Brubeck, and then the second half was a classical work for orchestra, baritone, chorus and jazz quartet. Only words that come to mind: Stunningly Alive with spirit, energy and love for the music and the privilege of playing.

Those players were inspiring.. Old men, but they played with such joy, pure abandon, and love. Their integrity and their souls, magnified by there skill, shown brightly through the sanctuary. Dave spoke eloquently of how music "bridges the gaps, and speaks to all people" ALL of US. His art and his experience spoke to me on a level beyond just entertainment. He helped change the world in the 60s.. Music can do it again today..

The music was alive, the room was alive, the audience was intent on hearing the next note.. and then strangely, in the middle of the second half, people begain to shut down.. some even left.. On the stage was one of the most influential and accomplished musicians of our age, and these people left.. I was shocked.. True the music was "different" but still full of life. Was it because he stretched their minds, encouraged them to grow and take a different view of what music means to them. Was it because the setting was sacred, and maybe God was infringing on their agendas through the artistry of the 100+ musicians?

I loved it ... thank you Lord for providing us diverse talents in this world. People like the chorus singers, to the baritone, to the orchestral players, to the phenomenal jazz quartet. I was proud to be in God's house celebrating the gift of music to the world..Thank you for the friends who took us to the concert.. without them, where would I be.. I would have missed out because of my own plans/agenda.

People need people

Been on conference calls all morning.. and a recurring theme comes up.. The people factor is the most important thing. Success is predicated on getting people to work together and finding and engaging the right people... For a technology team it is about engaging the real "subject matter experts" along with the right decision makers. For singers, it is about having access to the right coaches, accompanists and collaborators. For parents, it is about surrounding your family with a "village" of support for raising the kids. For a church, it is about community, and a shared purpose.. The important work all occurs one on one in those relationships, but the individuals are never really separate from their organizational context. The individuals do matter...

I think this is what Jesus was talking about when he talked about the shepherd focusing on the one lost sheep even when their are ninety-nine in front of him.. The exponential impact of guiding, teaching and then empowering people to love one another is a profound concept that can, and does impact our world daily...

Every conversation, every interaction, every person does matter.

Luke 15:4-7 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

Institution

Sorry for the length of my post last night.. I will begin making them shorter and more on point immediately..
When I woke up this morning, the "summary" of what I think of the institutional church came to mind.

The Institution of the church(today's modern church) which sets itself up as a machine that saves people is dying or dead. The Modern church, even the big ones that have come about in the last 20-30 years are not necessarily successful... Purpose driven life is successful because it provides a system for churches to redefine their purpose... That is fine and good, but the purpose of the church hasn't really changed that much in the past 2000 years, and won't change that much in the future..The purpose of the church wasn't to get big, have more members, and build more and more buildings.. We tried that already.. look at the fantastic cathedrals in Europe from the middle ages.. That way won't last... Using a few corporate approach words: new words, a new "org structure" can't fix and underperforming and misguided body. We as individuals must change.. and the guiding body will change with us. The church must stem from the people, not dictate to them. Each of us must study, pray and seek God's will for our lives, and our families, and then share those stories with others around us. Churchs must help us do that.

God is very much still here.. he is working in our world. The story goes on, it is still being written..

This changing, evolving, church will become something different in the years to come... to continue to be effective it must evolve to be a living body instead of a dying system. Each unique, each special, each providing and writing its own piece of the ongoing story. The days of the church trying to be everything for everybody, are over. There is lots of literature on this, but I always come back to Brian Mclaren's book - "A New Kind of Christian" as a focus point for these thoughts...

For really interesting reading on this.. look up "Emergent church" on the web and read all about it..

Institutional Wrath

A friend asked that I comment on the conservative Baptist culture that recently dealt me and my family a pretty big blow... Tough to be impartial where that is concerned... but I will try. For general readers..here is a little background. I am a bivocational minister of music, have been for 13 years.. was in the mentioned job for just under 5 years, and recently resigned at the request of the personnel committee of the church.. I was totally ambushed and surprised by this request..Their reasons are hollow to me, but I trust that God is working through this.. I am growing, being refined, and strengthened. The church seems to be struggling, but I trust in God to do a great work there if it is in his plan..

A job at a church, any church, is still just a job helping to lead others to Christ, but leading in worship and presenting God's word, is a higher calling... I am upset at the the leaders of the church body for dealing with me so insensitively, but at the same time I commend them for acting in a manner consistent with where they believed the church should go. We must be bold in our faith and actions to have hope of affecting the world around us. Bold action is called for in this "war". The church, as a whole is either dead or dying.. Even churchs like HRBC, my new congregation, are alive, but struggling to find a way to actually impact our community and world around us. I wonder how we stack up in the larger scheme.. I fear that we are not so effective.. Ministry is effective one on one.. Accountability is effective one on one... Institutional governance, and the power that goes with it is a corrupting and dangerous model. The politics inherent to congregational leadership are vicious, yet to defer all authority to a pastor, pope, priest.. whatever you call it, is equally dangerous and irresponsible. There is no perfect answer here.. We as a culture have about 2000 years of failure on our hands.. History tells the tale better than I ever could..

When I was leading at my old church, I took bold steps and actions which I believed to be correct. As a leader, I must stand behind decisions, both right and wrong.. We all have both successes and mistakes, I had my share of each...., but I think that as a whole, I did great work, loved my congregation, encouraged the musicians, helped to build an evolved view of worship, far exceeded even my own expectations in retrospect... To be perfectly honest, I think that the committee which asked for my resignation was sick. They are basicly good people who have been influenced by their own checkered history, into making terrible mistakes, devaluing people. This is not totally their fault. This behavior has gone unchecked for soooo long, why should anyone question it now. People in power in churches tend to remain in power.. or they leave and go somewhere else and attempt to gain power. It is a sickness when abused, and a great blessing when those skills are put to good use.

When someone like me bucks the system, the system will fight back... I got slam dunked, and have learned from it... The institution of the church has done a lot of things that it should not be proud of, but those negatives are right along side the mass of positives. It is not for me to really judge. I am here to serve, and with churches, I serve at the pleasure of the leadership. I am angry at people who acted inappropriately and were hurtful to me personally, but I forgive them... I am disappointed in my church, but after time, not so angry. I hope that my departure has caused many to question who they are, and what they do, and why they do it. I love them all, each of them... I forgive them.. It is in my nature, to offer myself up again and again and again. For the future, the trick is to do so without compromising my kids' spiritual growth and development.

My fear of institutional wrath these days, has little to do with my own life, and everything to do with the life of my children. Working for a church is a calling but it is also a job. I was called by God to minister in his name. I can do that without working for a church. My role as a father must take precedence over any job. I have to feel out exactly what that means. Time will tell.. reality is often messy.. but I trust and believe that it will work out.. Besides, God has already provided me many different jobs.. why do I need more..:)

For now... I can't take any more "wrath". I used up my shields.. and took some damage. I need to rest and repair.. then seek out a new mission. With time, and prayer, I believe God will show me his plan and provide opportunity.

Scripture focus for dealing with institutions..Paul and Peter write all about it.. and Jesus' example is pretty clear. For real insight, you should study the entire book of Galations.. ( I am doing that now, along with 1 Peter and 2nd Peter) but here is a start...

Galations 1:6-10 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned! Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Mobility - yeah right...

I realized I am getting a bit heavy, so here is some humor for you.

I am the tech mobility guru for my company. Yesterday, my cell phone stopped working properly, and now it is difficult to even call me. Irony: I am mr mobility, yet you can't even call me easily right now, because of a simple hardware failure. Fixing the phone is not really an option...since it is my primary telephone.. I am feeling my own pain.. AAAHHHHH... Maybe the tech guy(me) should have had a better support plan for this failure..

If we can't laugh at ourselves, where are we?

Identity vs Outcome

Returning to the grind of the corporate machine today, it dawned on me
that I am a very different person from the perception of those around
me... Only this year, have I begun to be honest about my thoughts and
ideas, and yes my "identity". In the past, I was afraid that allowing
my musical career to become public at work would somehow undermine my
credibility as a technologist. Focusing on my relationship with God
and the importance of church and ministry is another thing, very
difficult to deal with in the secular "corporate" world. I don't
always act in the same manner at work that I would have in other
environments.. I have to believe that I am not alone here... Am I
simply searching for an excuse, maybe.. but I think I am pretty much
right down the middle with this being honest to myself and others idea.

When we deny our self ... Is this the problem? Is there a way to share
more of who we are without compromising who people think we are? People
as a whole, jump to judgment all too quickly.. I know.. I do it too.
The ethics of manipulating who people think we are seems wrong, but we
all do it every day on some level... we play our parts... We do the
right thing.. but the right thing is not always so clear is it... A
business is not a church, it is not a charity... It is a job, and we
owe our company. We fulfill our part of the contract and it pays us.
This is good thing, or at least it is not an evil thing. An honest
approach to work, for wages, is appropriate. But, we must get better
at being honest with the people around us. We must be more authentic in
linking our public lives with our private lives... Relationships with
people are the key to success.. that hasn't changed, no matter how much
"machine/system" we inject into our world. People are paramount. I need
to learn to better appreciate diversity of thoughts and beliefs... and
find a way to tie this back to my intense and passionate faith.. There
has to be a way to be more inclusive, without compromising personal
integrity and judgement... or maybe not.....

We set up a wall, a communication barrier, when we aren't honest one
another... This "play acting" is what we all publicly despise and
ridicule, yet we each "feed the beast" each time we buy into the idea
that we are somehow better or worse than others around us...We somehow
try to convince ourselves that we are better than the guy who lost his
job, who got laid off, who didn't get his deliverable completed... I
buy into this line of thinking on most levels.. Some people have it and
others don't.. seems to almost be the American way...it is so easy to
say and think this... The work, the outcome, is the great equalizer...
Some people do get more done than others.. some people can do more
than others.. we are compensated for our contribution and something
tells me that this is ultimately fair, and ultimately flawed.

I seem to have painted myself into a corner here.. and this line of
thinking, justifying value by contribution seems inherently man made...

God loves us for who we are, not what we do. We love our children in
that same way, for who they are, often despite what they do... We are
proud, we want them to be the best, to have the best.. but what is the
best..

Ahhh, now that is something for another day... Stay tuned same bat
time, same bat channel.. you know the rest.. :)

Topic for the future: What is the best? What does it mean to be the
best, versus doing your best? Which is more valuable? Does it even
matter in the grand scheme of things? Okay, okay.. now I am definitely
ranting..

Auditions

When a singer auditions for another
person a lot of things go through the mind.

How important am I, How good am I?

What do I have to offer this person(conductor, listener, judge)?

What do I expect to gain from this? best case... worst case...

How good is good enough?

The answers to these questions are central to a professional singer's
life. The most interesting thing for me today, is that the answers
apply no matter a a person's role. When we are certain in who we are
and what our role/position is.. all of the difficult things in life,
become so much easier... We have a reason to get up in the morning, we
are able to plan and actually execute/accomplish things in our earthly
domain. I sang today for a conductor in whom I now have a lot of
respect. He listened, was warm and courteous, and no matter what he
actually thought of my "performance", he was appreciative of my time,
as I was of his. We each audition for everyone around us, all day,
every day. The best part of my audtion today, was that I was
comfortable and he was comfortable. We were getting to know one
another...

It seems to me that whenever possible, the relationship and context
are paramount, and must always precede the judgment part of our
personalities. I know that talk is cheap, and that we do all tend to
judge each other, figure out the pecking order, and then tailor our
communication accordingly. This is the REAL world, but I have to
believe that in order to better ourselves, we must seek out a new
path, a new approach. The system we live in, loves to create castes.
Even when those castes are not mandated by law, we as humans give them
credibility by supporting them subconsciously. For change to occur,
energy must be spent. Each person must make take action. If we
remain, passive and refuse to embrace change, the one thing we can be
certain of is that nothing will change. A new world, starts with
understanding a vision linked with our mission. We make decisions
every day in how we treat one another, how we judge, who we talk or
don't talk with.. Maybe we should be begin to approach our daily life
audition focusing more on what we have to offer, and less about what
we expect to get. This perception and action approach is certainly
different from today, but it can happen. It only takes patience and
time. Lets think of a new "vision" for a second.... just imagine....
some new paradigms.

We are all valuable, each to his own ideal, skill, approach. Clearly,
we have different things to offer, but in the grand scheme, we all do
need each other. We are all part of a body, or a constantly changing
story, not a machine. When we meet a new person, our first reaction
is to treat them as the most important person in our life. We
sometimes extend our relationships and "hire" one another to do work,
but even that exchange is based on the search for diversity, not on
judging... We are not "better" than one another, we simply are
different. We embrace our diversity, and we celebrate that God makes
each of us special and unique.

Strangely, I don't think this idea is new... it is an old thought,
just one that we have interpreted, and manipulated so much that it is
virtually unrecognizable.

My scripture passage for this post.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they
will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for
theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all
kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the
same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can
its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is
thrown out and trampled under foot.

“You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid.

No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on
the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may
see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:3-16