The Fixer

I have come to understand that I am mostly a fixer... I am not an expert on sociological/psychological profiles, but a recent conversation with a good friend.. has polarized my view of my activities.. People split into two types in my thinking.. fixers, and improvers.

Fixer: someone who is driven to complete, fix a given problem.. they derive their personal happiness and worth from getting stuff done.. showing results.
Improvers: someone who is happy to make things better, able to put aside the larger focus of the problem of world peace/world hunger and simply feed people and save as many as you can.

In ministry, particularly in institutional churches, I think maybe my approach is difficult to deal with.. I want to get involved, encourage the people, evolve the institution and FIX stuff. I think maybe I am assuming a responsibility, goal that is beyond me. I think maybe I need to develop a more balanced approach to my world.. I need to embrace improvements with more of a view of success in the little things, and leave the big things to people "above my paygrade".. read that as God mostly..

In corporate world, I have chosen a route as a project manage, yet I am much more an analyst at heart. it allows me to succeed frequently in increments and then also regularly complete and "fix" problems. As a PM, I am in control, in charge, as an analyst, I can only contribute.. HMMM

As a musician, as a performer, I can never fix my performance. I can never be good enough..In my mind, I an only improve. What does this say about me. If I identify myself as a singer at my core, then how can I be a fixer.. Maybe I have learned this behavior because it is what the world around me rewards. Does that mean it is good.. I don't think so...

As a father, I am only a caretaker to my children. They are ultimately God's creation. I love them and take care of them, but I cannot fix them. I can only help them to improve....

On second thought.. maybe I am not a fixer..