The Sound of My Heart

It's christmas today! Hmmm...actually I told myself not to post anything today...but my heart keeps paining from the moment i got my results till now...although I got quite a good result...but I don't even know the reasons why I am feeling like that...don't know whether I should laugh or cry...while listening to some kind of slow songs...make me feel even bad...but I think I will feel better after i write it down here...Does a good result really mean so much to me? I am confused...Don't I study from Form 1 til now is only for PMR? Now the result is in my hand...although it shows straight A's...but I don't feel happy at all...what does all this mean? I can still remember the night before I collect my result...a few words to describe...scare...nervous...anxious...but at last I could sleep well also...Now I think I can get a conclusion...YOU WILL ONLY BE HAPPY WHEN YOU DID SOMETHING WHOLE-HEARTEDLY...know the reasons why I said so? Because I didn't put much effort on my exams...I didn't try my best to face the exams...but I know I have to satisfied what I have now...
So what i want to say is 'Thank You' to my beloved parents...although they always busy with their works...but at least they cared about me...they wished me good luck before I went to the school and started a war...this is more than enough for me^^ Especially my mum...sorry for being so unfilial...sorry for making her worried for my exams...you know what...I scare that I will get a bad result as I never study hard...so I keep reminding her not to have high expectation...I think she must be very sad at the moment as for this whole year, she has sacrificed a lot of her times for sending me to tuition center...spent a lot of money on my education fees and even she knew that my body is quite weak...so she spent lots of her times to bring me to the doctor and bought some enzymes or medicine to make my body healthier...and there is something more important!! My mum has high blood pressure...so that morning before I go to school and collect my result...my mum said she felt a bit numb on her left arm...and so she checked the pressure herself(we have a machine for checking pressure)...wow her pressure went up until 145...then she was very nervous and of course if you were in that condition...you will be terribly scare...I don't know what to do...the only thing that i could do is prayed to the God...I told the God to bless my mum...You can cut down a few A's...I don't need those A's...I just want my mum to be healthy!!! Without wasting anytime, my mum called me to do some massage on her arm and called my younger sister to pack some shirts in case she need to stay in the hospital...at last my father sent her to the Columbia Hospital...you know what the doctor told my mum? "There is nothing that you need to worry about. Just relax and go for a holiday with your husband." but my mum still hesitating...she wanted the doctor to do medical check-up for her...but the doctor said no need...my mum just need to rest more...that's all...puffff...we finally can put down the big stone on our heart...haha...we sighed with relief...with light-heartedly, my father drove us toward my school...aww...can I skip that part?? I am very lazy to type so much of things la...some more my stomach is very hungry now...so my fingers have no more energy to move over the keyboard...hehe....my mum told me that one of the reasons she was feeling so was because of my results...she couldn't sleep well the day before...
Besides that, I also have to thank my teachers for being so caring and put their hearts and soul into us...if they are not there, I won't be getting such a good results...maybe you will feel that it is so lame, but to me...I feel very grateful...and to all my friends( Chai Bao, Kai Qin, Ru Yen, Siau Ying, Ah Loh, Ah Miow, Win Fatt, Yi Zhang, Yee Seng, Andrew, Yoke Yee, Cheet Qing) oh too many to write...thanks for being there always...whenever I don't understand something, you all will volunteer to teach me...I will keep that in my heart whenever I go..Last but not least...to my family...my sisters, brother and aunt...thanks for giving me support and advice...thanks for waking me up whenever I don't want to...thanks for using so much ways like kicking me or whatever to prevent me not to sleep again...(although after I woke up you will surely get scolding from me)...
Wow...after a long long speech...until my saliva is completely dried...I really appreciate for what you have done for me...this is what we called LOVE...AN INVISIBLE LOVE~


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