Hardtime

Dunno why everytime when i feel bad i will surely type my feeling here...I found that it is really a good way to express my feeling...walau...haven't start to type the main point already cry until very teruk...haha...sometimes feel that myself is quite stupid...havent finish doing homeworks can waste time crying...and suka cari pasal menangis...no la...it's because i have to leave home tomorrow...not even reach 24 hours...haiz...now thinking of tomorrow's hardtime, i can really feel the fear that running down my spine...my heart pumping extremely fast...dunno why i feel so scare...maybe because i have to leave my sweet, sweet home...missing everything here...friends, family...even my pillow, booster and bed...xD...even the toilet, bathroom, kitchen, dining room, living room and every corner in my house...

i went to prefect camp that day...the moment that will stay in my heart forever was when i looked up at the sky...a board board sky where is no limit...with the company of so many shiny and sparkling stars, the sky seems to be the most beautiful thing in this world...at the moment, i was sitting beside Wei Theng...only both of us...sitting on the road...maybe you'll think we were crazy...because it was 12 something...and others had already went back to their A-hut to sleep...but it was the first time i looked at the sky at night for so long...it made me think of something...............

why is there no perfect things in this world? why can we only get ONE thing at a time but not both or many? why is God always give you something but always take something back from you? WHY??? i really don't understand...why do i have to leave home so early compare to the others? why can't i have family and friends by my side while mengejar-ing impian?? seriously...this feeling is really torturing...so to the rest of you out there...cherish what you have now...especially the moment with your love ones...studying in this school really don't have any freedom...no tv no pc...actually got la...but can't use anytime you want...and somemore don't have time and a space for you to cry...actually if look from the surface, i have a lot of friends here...but deep in my heart is really really very lonely...but a found a very good friend here...love her so much...and she knows quite a lot of things about Tzu-Chi...so glad...at least i can feel that at least there is someone from the same 'kampung' as i...haha...but what to do...life is like that...full or obstacles...once you can face it and solve the difficulties only you are counted as a successful person...luckily 'chicken' chats with me...although it's only a short conversation...if not i dunno will cry until what time...hahaha...but stupid him...keeps saying icicic only...==...

k la...really waste a lot of time already...hope i will be stronger and tougher...till we meet in blog again...><...sayonara=)