How To Disagree Without Being Disagreeable by Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D.

How To Disagree Without Being Disagreeable Getting Your Point Across With The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense by Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D.

Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D. is a linguist. She is writing about how to diffuse potential conflicts and disagreements. The book mainly focuses on disagreements between close family and disagreements at the job. Her first point is that almost all physical violence is preceded by violent language. If we reduce violent language we will improve the general atmosphere which people live in.

I don't agree with some of her philosophy. I don't think people should avoid conflict at all costs. I think of conflict as a natural part of being human. I just think that aggression should be channeled into constructive acts like climbing mountains, sports, and racing cars.

However, her methodologies seem to be quite well done. They are easy to follow. She reminds us to actively listen. Most people don't pay enough attention. She also gives two simple methodologies to help eliminate the effects of bad language. Write it down or make I statements.

We use metaphors and ideas when we speak. Understanding presuppositions people make allows us to counter nasty statements in a non-hostile manner. We learn about common verbal attack patterns and how to counter them. There are several different ways suggested including being rational, addressing the subject not the insult, objecting to bad language, and bringing the argument to a common level.

The book seems to have a fairly strong feminist philosophy to it. There is quite a bit about how men and women talk to each other during verbal conflicts. She uses a lot of different examples in the book. Each chapter has a number of written out dialogues illustrating her points. She covers nine points in the book; staying detached, listening, choosing your metaphor, choosing your satir mode, controlling your presuppositions, avoiding and defusing verbal attack patterns, and reducing tension and building arpport.

The book is short, 170 pages, references and bibliography, and index. It is a fairly quick read. This book will have strong reactions for and against it.

Daily Thoughts 2/21/2009, Magazine Reading

This is a photograph of renowned Egyptian novelist,Naguib Mahfouz. I find his writing to be exceptionally beautiful. It is poignant and well worth reading.

I put The Claws That Catch by Travis S. Taylor and John Ringo on hold at my local library.

I took a short walk up to my local library. It takes me about fifteen minutes walking uphill to get there. My doctor has asked me to do some mildly aerobic exercise two to three times a week, so I kind of count this as such. This is in addition to the 25 minutes of floor exercises I do each night from Yoga RX. I picked up a copy of How To Disagree Without Being Disagreeable by Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D.. She is the author of The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense. Hopefully this will be of some use.

This article from Information Week which interviews Tim O'Reilly, may give you a better sense of the changes in the publishing world which are coming very quickly. Most libraries are not ready for this. Many are not even aware that it is happening. http://www.informationweek.com/blog/main/archives/2009/02/tim_oreilly_unp.html

Magazine Reading

I am on a routing list at work for magazines. Booklist, Kirkus Reviews, Library Journal, New York Times Book Review, Publishers Weekly, and Searcher are routed to me every single month. On occassion, I will also read The New York Review of Books because of the quality reviews it gives.

When I have time, I will read Wired Magazine online http://www.wired.com/ . I also read Locus Magazine online http://www.locusmag.com/ , Bookselling This Week http://www.bookweb.org/ , I like the reviews section of the online version of http://www.libraryjournal.com/ . Mostly, I read magazines that give reviews of books and other material. I actually prefer reading magazines online.

I think in some ways, blogs are replacing many magazines. I still like the feel of paper. I don't like tearing up or marking magazines that much. Although, occassionally, I will mark a review which I like a lot.