Objective Subjectivity

How and where is the standard defined for musical excellence? As I practice and strive to be honest to a history and lineage of artists who have preceded me, I am struck by the need to be unique and special in my performances. I have spent my life in search of an objective standard for perfection, but strangely that objective standard is shallow. Even when I have achieved something special on those rare occasions, the exhilaration was fleeting. The lasting permanence is achieved via the race, not the prize. I was refined by the pursuit, not the procurement of something.

As a classical artist, I feel an obligation to share my experiences "making" music with my community. not just the performances. I am only just now learning to do that. I will always be "learning"

A few things I have learned. These are must haves for me...
1. I have standards for performance that are sometimes reasonable and sometimes not.
2. Cooperation with my fellow musicians is important.
3. Those musicians with which I associate must have intentions to reach something greater than themselves. Our journey together must be intentionally growing and loving, never filled with or centered on complacency.
4. I need a well formed plan and system with which to reach out and innovate. I have little tolerance for a lack of discipline.
5. I expect others to respect my time and ability as I respect theirs. I don't ask more than I offer and I expect those around me to carry their own weight.
6. Friends and colleagues who can't or won't embrace the passionate and disciplined approach to a higher standard have a hard time with me, and I with them. Those relationships may not last.
7. I exist filled with a naive confidence that is my greatest strength and weakness concurrently. I believe that if I can maintain pure intentions, and seek God's will for my life, I and my family will prosper in happiness and fulfillment. My musical instincts are gifts from God to be used accordingly.
8. I love making music with others. The pursuit of perfections towards an objective standard is a false goal. The prize is hollow if/when achieved.
9. I remain a deconstructionist at heart. I truly believe there must be a better way than has been found before. It is worth seeking and innovating. The consequence to this direction is the acceptance that many around me may never understand my approach or desire. I have as an enemy all those who have done well under the system before and those who are not assured of success under any future order. (Machiavelli)
10. I take myself and my thinking too seriously. Ultimately, the answer is simple.
Pray without ceasing and Praise the Lord! All the other questions are probably a waste of time.