Gossip is like sugar: it can be really bad for us but we just love the stuff. Why is that?
I think the popularity of gossip comes from two basic elements: the first is summed up in the old saying that "knowledge is power." Everyone wants to be in the know, right? Everyone wants to be the first one to tell the news. The second element is the sense of belonging. If you have a secret to tell about someone else, or if someone shares a secret with you, there's a bond between the two of you. Kind of an instant "us" situation, as in shared secret knowledge between "us." No wonder the people sharing the gossip can get such a warm fuzzy from it! Unfortunately, the person being gossiped about is frequently in a position to get hurt, which is what makes gossip a twisty, slippery, and very often nasty thing to handle.
Is all gossip bad? Maybe not. It's pretty harmless to share the news that Jenny's hot cousin is coming to stay at her house for the summer again this year, or that Wyatt was the first to get a job at the new clothing store at the mall. Once we cross into the territory of spreading tales about someone's really personal stuff, though, that's when the change comes in. Like with sugar, that's when the line is crossed from nibbling a couple of cookies to chowing down an entire cake with ice cream on the side and a candy bar chaser.
So maybe think of gossip as a very sweet dessert. It's okay to have a little serving of it, but if you have too much, well, remember that the initial rush feels super, but the subsequent crash can feel really bad for a long time after.
I think the popularity of gossip comes from two basic elements: the first is summed up in the old saying that "knowledge is power." Everyone wants to be in the know, right? Everyone wants to be the first one to tell the news. The second element is the sense of belonging. If you have a secret to tell about someone else, or if someone shares a secret with you, there's a bond between the two of you. Kind of an instant "us" situation, as in shared secret knowledge between "us." No wonder the people sharing the gossip can get such a warm fuzzy from it! Unfortunately, the person being gossiped about is frequently in a position to get hurt, which is what makes gossip a twisty, slippery, and very often nasty thing to handle.
Is all gossip bad? Maybe not. It's pretty harmless to share the news that Jenny's hot cousin is coming to stay at her house for the summer again this year, or that Wyatt was the first to get a job at the new clothing store at the mall. Once we cross into the territory of spreading tales about someone's really personal stuff, though, that's when the change comes in. Like with sugar, that's when the line is crossed from nibbling a couple of cookies to chowing down an entire cake with ice cream on the side and a candy bar chaser.
So maybe think of gossip as a very sweet dessert. It's okay to have a little serving of it, but if you have too much, well, remember that the initial rush feels super, but the subsequent crash can feel really bad for a long time after.
Ophelia Julien, author of Hunting Spirits coming May 2009 from Quake
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